Post # 1
When planning the color theme for our wedding, I wanted the theme to resemble both me and my fiancé. I did this by letting my fiancé pick out everything he liked early in the planning process and then I coordinated everything else around that (I like a lot of themes so knowing his preferences first helped me put together a theme). I first let him pick out the groomsmen’s suits then I chose the bridesmaid’s dress color based on on the suit color he chose. He told me he wanted black suits for the groomsmen and that he really disliked the idea of gray or tan suits. Knowing that, I picked out blush and champange for my bridesmaids. Our wedding theme became rose gold and black (inspiration pics below). This theme definitely resembles our style because most of what we like is a mix of dark of light colors including the decor in our apartment, how he personally dresses, the wedding band he picked out himself (pic below), and even how his car is styled (blacked out on the outside and white on the inside). The theme makes sense for us.
4 months before our wedding, my fiancé informed me that he changed the groomsmen’s suits to gray and that his suit is blue. I am okay with his suit being blue because I want him to wear whatever he wants, plus it matches black. My only issue is the groomsmen wearing gray. I feel like the groomsmen’s suits being gray will throw off the entire theme of our wedding. I am worried our wedding party will look like a theme of soft colors (blush, champange and gray) when the rest of the decor is constrating in rose gold and black. When I asked him why gray, he said he wanted to stand out from the groomsmen and that blue was too close to black.
I would be happy with the groomsmen wearing gray if it was decided earlier in the planning process, preferably before I coordinated the colors for everything else. I would have also chosen a different color for the bridesmaid dresses if they weren’t already bought, and probably would have chosen a softer color pallete for our theme. I worry our wedding party will clash with the decor by looking like a soft color pallete when everything else is constrasting. After discussing this with my fiancé , he gave up and told me to chose whatever suit color I want for the groomsmens and that he doesn’t want to help pick out things anymore if I don’t let him use his ideas. He feels as if I am not letting him have a say in the wedding planning process.
I really want the groomsmen to be in black so that they match the theme. Do I make the groomsmen suits black to match since my finacé gave up and said okay? Or do let him keep the gray he chose to show him that I value his input although it doesn’t match the theme at all?
Post # 2
Gray won’t clash with what you have, I think it will be a nice compliment. Plus, its literally just the guys suits, you can still have everything else the same, so the black isn’t going to be jarring because some dudes are wearing a different suit.
Post # 3
You’re overthinking this. Grey will still look great with your theme, bee.
Post # 4
I don’t think gray will clash, but if he wants to stand out, could he wear a black tux and the groomsmen wear black suits?
Post # 5
You are completely overthinking this, Bee. 1) Gray will be fine. 2) There are many shades of gray including charcoal. 3) It’s his wedding too.
Please reconsider the black fondant cake, however, Or at least try one first so you can see how it stains your lips/teeth/tongue.
Post # 6
beethree : I second her on the cake thing.
Post # 7
I think a dark charcoal-y grey would look great. There are lots of blues that would work well with it too.
Being TOO matchy matchy can actually get a little overdone/tacky. You want to look at it as a theme rather than a strict set of just a few colours. Things don’t have to be identical to look nicely together and I find it looks a bit more sophisticated when it’s more of a general style than something like a sports team.
Post # 8
I think grey will look nice. They can still wear black ties if you like. You need to start looking at Rose gold, black & grey color palette.
Post # 9
The shades of a color do make a difference and I’m going to disagree with the others and say that your Fiance just up and changing the colors of a significant item 4 months before the wedding isn’t okay. I know the wedding is for the two of you and he should have a say but when the colors of certain things have been selected based on a decision made months ago (and which he was already a part of), your Fiance needs to understand that he can’t just up and make major changes without a discussion because there can be a ripple effect of other things that need to be reconsidered or adjusted. Also, if you have been doing the bulk of the work on this and he’s just jumping in and making changes on a whim, that’s not very considerate of the thought and effort you’ve put into it up to this point.
When we were planning, my husband had deadlines by which he needed to give me his input on a certain item. Once the deadline passed and I’d moved on to work on the next thing, if he got an idea, he just needed to save that shit for his next wedding. 😛 We had to start doing that because, early on, he decided to focus and take action on something after a significant deadline had passed and we lost a deposit making changes because he’d put off doing his part in a timely way.
Also- if your colors are black and rose gold and cream, the guys are going to look dumb as hell standing up there wearing a blue suit and grey suits. However, you can absolutely adjust the colors of your wedding and inspo- you don’t have to be locked in to the original vision. I would say, though, that since your Fiance is the guy with the bright ideas, he’d better be sitting there with you to help work it out.
One last thing- Why not have your Fiance in a black suit and his groomsmen in gray? That way he stands out from them and he still matches with the theme.
Also- he needs to grow up and stop pouting. Wedding planning can be a major process and if he’s this pissy just because you pushed back on his poorly thought through idea, then he should have some understanding of how you might feel to have him making changes after the whole wedding theme has been based on an idea he helped contribute to months ago.
Post # 10
My colors are grey, rose gold, and burgundy–it’ll look nice. Tell him to nix the blue suit and it’ll work out.
Post # 11
This is not a hill to die on, let him have his grey and realize that it will still be beautiful!
Post # 12
1.- No one will care.
2.- Why does everything have to “coordinate”?
3.- No one will care.
Post # 13
bluesky355 : Ha! My Fiance changed colors on me too! At first I freakedo ut, because I thoguht that light grey would wash everythingo ut. Then I saw he wanted charcoal and medium grey. I ended up tweaking his picks a bit, and nto I think it looks even better than my original vision!
I think a charcoal grey will look great with your theme, even better than black TBH. I think it will soften the overall contrast.
Post # 14
Your fiance feeling valued and like he’s a part of your team is waaaaaaaaaay more important than coordinating colors. And gray will look just fine. It’s about the marriage, not the wedding.
Post # 15
bluesky355 : My personal feeling is that themes are for kids birthday parties and prom. I don’t know, you’re coming across as a bit inflexible on this color thing. I couldn’t tell you the theme or colors of any wedding I’ve been to the last 3 years.
Let this go. Let the guys wear grey suits. It will be fine.