(Closed) Fiance Cheated

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
5179 posts
Bee Keeper

Oh my god. I am so sorry you are going through all of this. As a mother myself I know how heartbreaking it is for your daughter to bond with a man and then have them mess things up. Do you want to work on your relationship? If you do, I think you should for sure try counseling. Cheating is not an easy thing, but it definately is possible to move on from it. It really boils down  to what you want to do, and what you feel like is best for you and your daughter

Post # 4
Member
1426 posts
Bumble bee

Leave. Move on. The guy is obviously not ready for a committment. It’s that simple.

Post # 5
Member
677 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Wow that is rough, I can see how this is extrememly overwhelming for you right now because you just changed your whole life around for this man and you found out that he betrayed you. All I can say is, I could never forgive anyone for an affair. If my husband had an affair things would be over. Its different from a one night stand where he can claim it was an accident, it sounds like he had a relationship with this woman. Marriages can make it through things like this, but if he isnt completely remorseful and willing to do whatever it takes for however long it takes to make things better, I would cut and run. Actually I would cut and run regardless, this is a huge red flag that he is not ready for marriage.

Post # 6
Member
2161 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I’m so sorry.   It’s not fair that he let you uproot your life and move there, to find something like that out.   I can’t blame you, especially since he never did admit it on his own.   You deserve better than that.

Post # 7
Member
124 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Dump him.  The texts are almost worse than the actual cheating, given that he tried to defend himself by saying that she means nothing to him.  Do whatever you need to do for yourself – I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this!  Hang in there and let us know how we can help!!

Post # 7
Member
1489 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@Nice85: So sorry to hear this for you…..

Post # 8
Member
963 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Oh I feel for you!  Cut your losses and run.  Don’t start your realtionship this way.  Don’t put your or his child through this.  Seriously, you deserve so much better.  This is terrible.  Healing from this will take so much work and so much work on his part to find out why he did this and if he even wants to put the work in to change.  I always recommend http://www.survivinginfidelity.com.  Lots of people on there in similar situations.  I lived through infidelity and I read and read and read some more until I was finally able to heal.  You will get through this!

Post # 9
Member
1371 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@Annabelle86: I feel the same.  I could never survive my Fiance cheating.  No matter what the situation, that’d be the end of us, no going back.  I just don’t have it in me to forgive it.  I’ve been cheated on in the past (numerous times), so I am hyper sensitive to it. 

Post # 10
Member
1371 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Cheating is a horrible thing, and given the information you found, this was not a one time event.  He built a relationship with this other woman, all the while leading you to believe he was faithful.  Cut and run love, get out while you can minimize the damage to yourself and your little one.

Post # 11
Member
1523 posts
Bumble bee

That’s awful 🙁 it sounds like it did mean something to him, even if it didn’t mean as much as you mean to him. I would get out of there as soon as I could so that you don’t prolong it and can move on quicker. But that really sucks. It’s really awful that guys can do things like that. 

Post # 12
Member
1763 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

What has your FI’s respnonse been so far besides saying she meant nothing? I don’t know if it is something I could move past, but only you can deciede what is right for you. Counceling seems like a great place to start.

Post # 13
Member
2247 posts
Buzzing bee

I just can’t sit here and tell you to go to counseling.  Honestly, I feel like you shouldn’t even bother!  This guy is a jerk and clearly does not give two craps about your relationship.  Take your child and go back home.

Post # 14
Member
83 posts
Worker bee

honey if you don’t trust him, don’t marry him. marriage won’t make your problems better, just worse.  if he really loves you, he will be willing to work on your problems and prove to you that he will be committed before marriage.  don’t be afraid to move on, if he not willing to work things out.  it’s hard and painful to leave someone you love, but you have to tell yourself that  you are worth a man who will be faithful and love you and you only.

Post # 15
Member
5388 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

I’m sorry. 🙁 I don’t have any advice, but I will like to give you *hugs*. 

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