Post # 1
I’ve been engaged since the end of March and my wedding date is in September. I’ve caught him texting his ex fiance off and on the last few months. Today, I found out that he was sleeping with her in April and May.. while we were starting to plan our wedding. We’ve only been together since November of last year. He claims it took him a while to realize how much he really loved me and says it only happened once. She says it happened more than once. I believe her….
I’m so hurt and confused. He keeps begging me to forgive him and work through it. We have an out of state wedding planned and both families have already expensed money and time planning… not to mention I have 2 kids and we are in the middle of packing and moving to a new house. (they aren’t his kids btw)
Any advice would be great… I just don’t know what to do. I don’t know if I can ever trust him again. He knew I already had trust issues from my first marriage. I was cheated on so many times. He always tells me he would never hurt me like that… and he did.
Post # 3
Leave him. Thats my advice.
Post # 4
Don’t marry him, you said it all with “I don’t know if I can ever trust him again.” A marriage/relationship can’t last if no trust exists. So sorry he hurt you like this.
Post # 5
This wasn’t an “oops, I was drunk” cheating, this was an active form of cheating, especially since he continued to be in touch with her. It’s blatant disrespect of you and your relationship. He does not seem like a man to be trusted. If you stay with him, he’ll do it again.
Hugs, dear! You deserve better than this.
Post # 6
whatever you do don’t marry him
Post # 8
Oh my gosh, I am so sorry! The only silver lining that is possible in this situation is that you found out what he was really like before you married him. I would cut your losses and get the heck out of there. You are deserving of so much better treatment, not to mention that I personally would never want to raise my kids in an environment like that.
Having to cancel the wedding and lose all that money really sucks, but it’s a much better alternative than marrying a man who lies and cheats on you.
cancel the wedding pronto. If he does want to prove it to you that he has changed and all that, then it will take a lot longer than a month anyways.
Post # 9
you will find someone who will treat you right, he still isn’t even owning up to what he’s done (he says it was once the ex says it was more than once) I wouldn’t marry him & I would kick his ass to the curb. How would you ever be able to trust him again? :/ Sorry you are going through this. ((hugs))
Post # 10
I’d leave in a heartbeat. How can you expect him to uphold his vow of lifelong faithfulness when he can’t even make it to your wedding without cheating?
*Hugs* This is never easy, but stay strong. He’s a jerk and that’s not your fault. Remember there’s a guy out there who will love you enough to be faithful
Post # 11
Marriage is all about TRUST. If you don’t have the trust, don’t make the mistake of marrying him. You’ll save yourself a lot of grief by cutting it off now, rather than AFTER you’re married.
Post # 12
At the very least postpone the wedding. That wouldn’t even be a full year of knowing him before you got married. Going fast like that works for some people but obviously you are not that couple. Slow down and if you feel like letting him try, make him put the time and work in.
Post # 13
I agree that you should leave. It’s much easier to get out now than the try getting out of an unfaithful marriage.
Also, I am curious as to why he propsed so soon into your relationship if he wasn’t sure he loved you? That is just a really, really odd statement. Doesn’t one generally fall in love first and THEN propose?
Post # 14
At the very least, postpone. I would completely suspend all planning and go to counseling to decide if you will even stay together. If you decide to work it out, give it time. Don’t set another date. Give it a year or two. If he’s worth spending the rest of your life with, at least sacrifice a couple of years to see whether you’re making a mistake.
Edit: for the record I’d run faster than anyone has ever run before. I wouldn’t tolerate that shit, and I don’t even have kids.
Post # 16
Don’t marry him. Easy peasy.