(Closed) Fiance cheated with his ex a few months before wedding date

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 92
Member
180 posts
Blushing bee

@CaptainKH:  +1 

You have kids; you must be sloooow with bringing a new father figure into their lives. They can’t have men bouncing in and out of the picture. I’m sure it’s unbelievably hard being a single mother and that you want support and love. Yet you are everything to your kids – their whole world, their only protection.

There is a darker side to this because there are men with sick desires who prey on insecure women with children to get to the children. I don’t want to sound callous, but better you find out your Fiance is an asshole now than marry him and have him stepping out on you. Lucky his tastes only run to adult women. Moving your children in with a man before you know him inside and out is a bad freaking idea. My mother talks about this a lot and she’s known several women who brought men into their homes who damaged their children in serious ways. Be careful!

Post # 93
Member
603 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I’m so sorry for you hun but I would say run. He knows how you’ve been hurt in the past and he let history repeat itself. He has shown he can not be trusted and I don’t think you would want to continue on and always wondering in the back of your mind if he is doing it again.

Post # 94
Member
1637 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

People cheat if they’re not happy. You deserve someone who doesn’t make you question this. At the very least, postpone the wedding. Good luck.

Post # 95
Member
1886 posts
Buzzing bee

You need to leave him. Better to find out now before you’re married

Post # 96
Member
2314 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@ticatica:  “People cheat if they’re not happy.” And sometimes they’re just insenstive douchebags who have major commitment and sleazeball issues.

OP, really?  You really needed to ask us what to do?  He’s slime.

Post # 98
Member
773 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

My advice is for you to run–run far and run fast!  You’ve only known this man since last November and already he’s proven to be unfaithful to you.  Not only that, but he’s not even telling the truth about how many times he’s cheated now that he’s been caught!  Even knowing how hurt you have already been by cheating in the past, he did this to you, and while you were planning your wedding no less!  If he can cheat while you’re planning your wedding, he can (and will) cheat at any time.  You will NEVER be able to trust this man, and rightfully so, but where there is no trust, there is no love.  Please listen to me and the other bees who are warning you about this man.  You will save youself SO much heartache later on if you cut ties with the cheater NOW.  Please don’t marry someone who could do this to you and continue to lie about it. 🙁  Whatever you decide to do, though, I hope all the best for you.  Good luck!

By The Way, I used to have a man like yours who used to cheat and continue to lie about the cheating even when I had solid proof of it!  Men like this will lie to the very last and never change. 🙁  Sad but true.

Post # 99
Member
2 posts
Wannabee

Its better to leave now, than trying to leave with more kids, spending more money, and wasting years. GET OUT NOW!

Post # 100
Member
31 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2013

LEAVE HIM..

that’s a wise step..

you’ll meet another good man someday

explain to your whole family about it and i’m sure they will understand it.

 

~Miss Butterfly~

 

Post # 101
Member
434 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@ticatica:  I dont agree at all. Women are much more likely to cheat if they’re unhappy (I know that from personal experience) but it does NOT work like that for men. Humans aren’t meant to be monogamous so if they cheat, it’s essentially a lack of self-control, it’s laziness. Relationships are work, people have to sacrifice to be in them and if this douche doesn’t want to sarcrifice pulling his dck out then that’s it. It’s not even that he cheated, it’s that it was ongoing, it’s that OP has kids and that he didn’t come up with an excuse that was even remotely good enough. I dont have a zero tolerance policy on cheating since I’ve done it myself and I GET how easily people fck up but REPEAT OFFENSES? No way.

Post # 102
Member
434 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@ticatica:  I dont agree at all. Women are much more likely to cheat if they’re unhappy (I know that from personal experience) but it does NOT work like that for men. Humans aren’t meant to be monogamous so if they cheat, it’s essentially a lack of self-control, it’s laziness. Relationships are work, people have to sacrifice to be in them and if this douche doesn’t want to sarcrifice pulling his dck out then that’s it. It’s not even that he cheated, it’s that it was ongoing, it’s that OP has kids and that he didn’t come up with an excuse that was even remotely good enough. I dont have a zero tolerance policy on cheating since I’ve done it myself and I GET how easily people fck up but REPEAT OFFENSES? No way.

Post # 103
Member
3 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@mlc22:  I AM SO SORRY TO HEAR ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED. I DEFINITELY THINK YOU SHOULD WALK AWAY AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. YOU DESERVE SOMEONE WHO WILL KNOW YOU ARE THE ONE WITHOUT HAVING TO SEARCH FOR ASSURANCE IN SOMEONE ELSE. THE FACT THAT HE WAS EVEN KEEPING SUCH CLOSE CONTACT WITH HER SAYS MORE THAN YOU WANT TO ACCEPT. LET HIM BE WITH HER. IT WILL HURT SO MUCH NOW BUT YOU WILL APPRECIATE IT AS WELL AS YOURSELF MORE. DONT BEAT YOURSELF UP. YOUVE ENDURED ENOUGH. GOOD LUCK HUN

Post # 104
Member
393 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

First instinct: Dump the Bast#[email protected])! But noone can tell you how you feel. Go with your heart. Take all of the other stuff out. Don’t think about the money spent or anything like that. Can you honestly be with him and not struggle with this the rest of your life? Who cares how much money was spent, it is nothing compared to your happiness and having respect for yourself. He obviously didnt put you first, so you have to put you first. I hope that yu can find the right answer.

Post # 105
Member
153 posts
Blushing bee

GET OUT NOW! dont marry him.

Post # 106
Member
392 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Letme get this right- he PROPOSED in MARCH, and cheated on you 30 days LATER WITH HIS EX? sounds to me like he is using one of you for a “PLAN B” There’s no way Id marry someone that did that to me…. Good luck

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