- 5 years ago
- Wedding: November 2014
This is the first time I’ve posted in the babies board, however just to give you a little bit of background – me and my fiance have been together 3 years and got engaged in October. We are saving for both a mortage and a wedding (neither easy in the UK at the moment) although we also still have some debt to pay off. We both have ok jobs, not amazing but our earnings aren’t too bad. I have been broody since about 20, now I am 26 and I know that this is still young, (finace is 28). Most of my friends are either older than me (early/mid 30’s) or started their families young and I am desperate to start a family.
I also have the concern that on my mum’s side of the family all the women have had very very early menopause (my mum was 35 my nan 32). My cycles have been simular to that of my mum and grandma (started long, heavy periods at the age of 9). I really want at least 2 kids and had always envisaged I would have at least had my first by my mid-late 20’s.
My fiance wants kids, he has said if we had more money, a mortgage and were married then we’d have kids right now, but the fact is we don’t, and we won’t be in a position to do either for quite some time. With our salaries as they are after the debt is payed off early next year we will be able to save around £8-10k between us by the end of 2014. It will be anywhere between £20-30k for a mortgage and then £15k for a wedding. So it could be at least 2 years for a house/mortgage and another year or 2 to get married, thats 4 YEARS at least until we even think about babies :'(
Everyone has told me ‘there is never a perfect time’ or ‘you never have enough money’ or ‘do it when it feels right, everything else will work out’ but he is adament on having it all happen in the ‘traditional’ way. His upbringing was bad, mine was great, he just has these expectations and doesn’t want his kids to have the same upbringing as he did, however for me when I grew up we were broke but my parents loved me and my sister so that’s all I remember and that mattered when I was young, not having to wear clothes my mum made or not have the best presents etc, why can’t he see this?
What would you do? I don’t want to be in the ‘perfect’ position to have a baby and then hit menopause 🙁