(Closed) Fiance did not get me the ring I wanted!

posted 8 years ago in Relationships
Post # 122
Member
7 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: January 2013

Wow, unbeliebable how people misinterpret others. I totally agree with OP. I am in the exact same situation at the moment. I gave all the clues, pictures, and links to my fiancee and still he got the wrong ring. The stone has a visible flaw in it which he did not see because men are just not detail oriented. We also have to pay for it together.

OP please do go get it appraised! I got my ring appraised and it turns out, the store misrepresented the diamond they sold. The diamond on the ring is I clarity, instead of SI. that is a significant difference in the value of the diamond. Of course the store does not care because they do not have to get GIA certified diamonds. Which also I told my fiancee do not absoltuly do not buy a diamond unless it is GIA certified, and if you do buy one that is not, get a second independent appraisal. He failed to do either.

So now I have to deal with the situation. The value of the ring is less than what he paid for it, so insurance is an issue. Also, I consider a 10k ring to be an investment, not just a ring he gives you. If he wanted to give you just a ring, he should have gotten a less expensive one. It is like buying a car, so for that amount of money you should have good quality, especially since you should get insurance. Wanting good quality for that amount of money is not materialistic it is smart and practical.

I completely get your point. It is not about the ring, it is about how he got the ring. When a guy gives you a ring he should consider not only what he wnats to give you, but also who you are and what you expect. He should know to cater to that. That might sound selfish to some people, but that is the reality of it. I know that if I bought something for my husband, something that he would wear for the rest of his life, I would go above and beyond to make sure it is as perfect as it could be according to his expectations so that I love giving it to him and he loves it because its something he wanted. And yes people do love even a rubber band on the finger, but this situation is not that case. Probably if the ring cost a lot less, OP would not be so bothered with it. But the fact that it is flawed, and they are paying a large amount of money for it, probably for a ring that is just not worth that, drowning themselves in debt for it, really doe snot make sense. And it is not outrageous to have expected her fiancee to not put them in situation.

This will not destroy your relationship. Your love is not summed up in a single ring, however the only meaning of that ring is his love, devotion, and care for you. So I understand why you are so frustrated because the ring does not reflect careful thought on his behalf. And he made a mistake no doubt about it. It is a hard lesson for your fiancee to learn.  Unfortunatly like a previous post said, it was a lesson learned at the expense of one of the most important moments in our life, your engagement.

Life goes on and I wish you the best to resolve this problem. The moment came and went and you can never have your proposal again, the best you can do is find a way that you can accept what happened and go forward.

It is not going to be an easy decision, I should know since I still have to make mine.

Post # 123
Member
110 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I am stunned that someone can call thier engagement ring ‘the stupid ring’. He bought you that with love and you have very likely crushed him with your words.

Genuinely stunned that someone can be so cruel to someone who loves you and has just declared they want to spend thier life with you.

I will so no more because I have nothing nice to say!

 

*stunned*

Post # 124
Member
7 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: January 2013

I am so tired of hearing this argument ‘she should love it no matter what’. If the ring should hold no meaning to her and she should just be happy with it, why should the ring have a meaning to the guy if she does not like it? Either the ring is important to the guy and the girl, in which case he should go out of his way to get the ring that pleases them both, or the ring hold no true meaning to the guy other than a formality, but it does for the girl and he failed to put the thought into it that she would have liked. But to say that the girl should not care about the ring, and not hurt the poor guy by telling him she does not like it, its really not fair.

Also if he bought it with love, it should have been what she wanted. Especially since he knew. The problem is in this case, the guy loves her, but he does not necesarily see the ring as his love for her. Which is ok he does not have to. But she made it clear what she wanted, so if he lvoed her, he should have gotten what she wanted, even though he could care less.

 

Post # 125
Member
7 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: January 2013

Also, Wearing rings as symbols of love is materialistic in itself. Regardless of what they look like or what they cost. So if everyone agrees that wearing rings is important, why does everyone say that getting the ring you want is not a priority? either the rings hold no menaing, in which case they should not be worn, or the rings hold meaning and they should be carefully chosen and customized to each person’s wishes, whatever those wishes those are and as a couple, each one should know each other well enough to know what those wishes are and make them come true.

So whether you agree or not with OP’s wishes about the ring is not the discussion here. It is that she expressed her wishes to her fiancee, and he failed to follow for whatever reason, and now all he says is that he’s sorry and that they can exchange it. problem is her wish was for him to get what she wanted without any issues. And that did not happen and the moment is gone. And she can’t help but feel somewhat sad about this entire situation, on top of which she has to deal with the ring.

 

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