(Closed) Fiance did sexual things at bachelor party

posted 6 years ago in Parties
Post # 211
Member
20 posts
Newbee

OP, I’m really sorry this happened. It sounds awful. If you were in a permissive relationship where it was genuinely no big deal to lick other peoples’ genitals, I’m sure you would have had a conversation about it long before now. I don’t have any advice, I just wanted to wish you all the best and hope you get the support you need to handle this with your best interests in mind.

Post # 212
Member
2865 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: City, State

View original reply
britney123:  I am so sorry. I was supposed to attend a wedding where something similar happened. 2 weeks before I got a phone call from the maid of honor that said the wedding is off and she was sorry for the inconvenience. Everyone understood. They lost a lot of money, but it was the best thing for them.

Post # 213
Member
432 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

I would hold off on the leaving. Boys can get crazy, and if this was a normal night would he have cheated on you? These where chicks that one of the groomsmen paid for, id take it slightly differently, id want a promise and a long open chat, you’ve obviously got a strong happy relationship because your getting married. I’m pretty relaxed about strippers and stuff, I don’t class it as cheating, which makes my opinion different from other chicks too I guess.

Post # 214
Member
186 posts
Blushing bee

Op I would be going to a quiet relaxing place to just think. Everyone wants to think that their man is so noble and wouldnt do such things but the fact is no one really knows. Its so easy to tell stranger to leave leave leave, but where is the fight for relationships anymore. OP if you really feel deep in your heart you cant move on then dont do it. I couldn’t imagine having to make a decision in the situation you have been placed in and I know it has to be difficult. But please talk to your mother or close family before taking the advice of any of us on here.

Post # 215
Member
70 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

I am amazed at the appeal some men have for a paid sex worker’s dump site. Disgusting. If Op’s fiancé went as far as licking her twat I can only imagine what he’d do if a beautiful woman pursued him. 

Op, if I was you, I would gather my dignity and throwback this dead fish. Speaking from experience, the mind movies will constantly be playing in your head. It’s not too late to stand up for yourself and find someone that respects you and themselves. 

 

Post # 216
Member
5001 posts
Bee Keeper

View original reply
britney123: I just wanted to know how you are doing so far. Are you communicating with him at the moment?Thanks for replying to my message. I was just really concerned that you might have been exposed to stds. So yes, please see your gynecologist soon to be checked for a peace of mind. I understand you might have to be seen several times to be completely cleared but it’s a start. This way, that is one obstacle out of the way so can at least clear your mind a bit from all this chaos and think about what is best for YOU. Whatever you decide on, I wish everything works out.

Post # 217
Member
486 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

View original reply
crackktheskyy:  Sorry…..they were an EXPENSIVE pair of hookers. Does that make it all better?

Post # 218
Member
347 posts
Helper bee

View original reply
Rabbit56:  A promise? He already promised no strippers, so he went with a prostitute instead. So this time he promises no strippers OR prostitutes, then what? What do you suggest he “promise” so that he can ensure he doesn’t break her trust again by being sexual with another woman? 

Post # 219
Member
311 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

View original reply
Soccergirl0809:  A man who has done something so awful doesn’t deserve her fight. 

Post # 220
Member
1189 posts
Bumble bee

View original reply
britney123:  Wow. I’m sorry to hear this happened to you. I know many women see things like this differently, so all you can do is know him and yourself.

If my Fiance did this I would be devastated. I do get peer pressure, and I absolutely agree that it doesn’t “mean” anything. But the person I chose as my life partner is not somebody who I can imagine doing these things. I would not be ok with them, and I would be even more upset about the lying. Perhaps if he’d told you the full story right away you would respond differently.

You need more information before you decide how to proceed. Was he 100% honest with you before this? Does he understand that lying isn’t acceptable in a healthy relationship? Do you think you can “write it off” as one stupid mistake, or do you think it reflects a part of him that you won’t accept as your husband?

Post # 221
Member
705 posts
Busy bee

View original reply
Sashley:  exactly what I said (outloud, in the office! haha) when I read that. Why on earth should she have to fight to get his respect? He clearly has no respect for anyone, not even himself!

Post # 222
Member
186 posts
Blushing bee

Sashley

View original reply
Sashley:  you dont see it as a one time mistake? 

Post # 223
Member
1189 posts
Bumble bee

View original reply
hereformybaybee:  I absolutely agree with the last sentence. There’s a weird cultural stigma that says women should be “ok” with anything their male partners do at bachelor parties, as if bachelor parties are their own private universe. In reality, they occur within the context of a committed relationship that is about to become a marriage. Letting loose with friends? Cool. Strippers and hookers and potentially cheating? Has no place in a healthy relationship.

Post # 225
Member
705 posts
Busy bee

View original reply
Soccergirl0809:  Or the relationship. If someone does not respect you why on earth is it worthwhile staying with them? This isn’t a mistake, this isn’t a one-time “whoops” – this is a blatant disregard for her feelings (1 – prior to the party she made a very specific request), this is cheating (2 – he did more than she said she was comfortable with, by a LONG shot), he has zero respect for her (3 – and he allowed all of his friends to disrespect her too), and he was dishonest multiple times since. What, exactly, is she fighting for? For the love of God, the OP is SO much better than this. Have we reached a point as women where we hate ourselves so much that we feel we can’t get better than this?

The topic ‘Fiance did sexual things at bachelor party’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors