Post # 16
We did not live together, so I didn’t really know if he was actually in town when he’d say he was away for business. He’s a managing partner at BDC so he travels A LOT. His house is about 45 minutes away from the city so I never just dropped in. I probably would have caught him if I had. We vacationed together, and spent most weekends together, but his aging mother still lives alone so he would stay with her when in Ottawa. Or so he said. :-/
Post # 17
He sounds like a psycho. You deserve better. He deserves nobody.
Post # 18
UM. Wow he’s a good actor. He played you for four years. He does not respect you one bit. Don’t even consider this a viable option. It’s better to be alone the rest of eternity. He doesn’t deserve a glance back.
Post # 19
Don’t let your memories of only the good times play tricks on you. If you are lonely, seek out other people. There are lots of nice people out there, unlike your scumbucket EX Fiance.
Post # 20
- Wedding: October 2019 - Chateau Lake Louise
Someone who could deceive you so thoroughly for FOUR YEARS is a pathological liar.
That you are even considering trying to patch things up is troubling.
If you’re struggling with getting over this huge betrayal – which is completely understandable – spend some energy getting yourself into a stable relationship with a therapist, and close the door on this person who used and deceived you forever.
Post # 21
A week or two of overlap at the beginning of the relationship when exclusively is muddled and loose ends are getting tied up could be forgivable. A double life for four years is not. Run!
Post # 22
Long story short, I know of someone very close to me who had a similar thing happen to her (the guy is a pathological liar). IT IS NOT WORTH IT. How could you ever, ever trust a person who has lied to you for the majority of your relationship? Why would you want to stay? Cultivate friendships, lean on people, and cut ties with this loser.
Post # 23
honestly she probably found out about you and ended it with him so he proposed to you and “came clean” so he wouldn’t be left with no one. I know it hurts and can’t imagine what it’s like but do you really want to marry someone that was cheating on you for the majority of your relationship?
Post # 24
Why would you stay with someone who went on vacation while you had a broken back? Or, you know, cheated on you for 4 years?
My Darling Husband currently has a broken back, this is week 4. The only times I’ve left his side is work and grocery store.
Post # 25
Yeah, nah. Shouldn’t even be a question
Post # 26
What he did is absolutely disgusting. Stay no contact and keep working on moving on with your life. Anytime you start reminiscing about the past, think about the fact that he was simultaneously having those good times with someone else.
Post # 27
Move on, the heartache you feel now is mild compared to the pain he will cause as a husband.
He travels a lot for work so how could you ever trust him or feel secure in your marriage???
Post # 28
You are crazy if you decide to stay with him, you deserve better than this!
Post # 29
Ending a long term relationship, especially one that you believed would result in marriage, is always hard…even when the circumstances makes it the only choice. You’re lonely and remembering the good times, trying to rationalize his behavior so that you weren’t completely wrong about this person you loved. This is to say, I think anyone in your place would have moments where they wonder about getting back together. But seriuosly…YEARS of living a double life. How could you ever trust him again?
1000% pass. Better to be lonely when you’re actually alone than to be lonely when you’re with someone who is so wrong for you.
Post # 30
I’m not going to question why you miss or love him, because you two were together for a long time and he was your love. BUT now knowing what you know: WHY would you ever consider getting back together with this derelict? He’s such a bullshit artist!