Fiance didn't break up with his ex gf, until recently.

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Do I give him another chance or do I move on?
    Give it another go! : (3 votes)
    1 %
    Move on! : (345 votes)
    99 %
  • Post # 17
    Member
    679 posts
    Busy bee

    He sounds like a psycho. You deserve better. He deserves nobody.

    Post # 18
    Member
    554 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2017

    UM. Wow he’s a good actor. He played you for four years. He does not respect you one bit. Don’t even consider this a viable option. It’s better to be alone the rest of eternity. He doesn’t deserve a glance back.  

    Post # 19
    Member
    47287 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Don’t let your memories of only the good times play tricks on you. If you are lonely, seek out other people. There are lots of nice people out there, unlike your scumbucket EX Fiance.

    Post # 20
    Member
    2319 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2019 - Chateau Lake Louise

    Someone who could deceive you so thoroughly for FOUR YEARS is a pathological liar. 

    That you are even considering trying to patch things up is troubling.

    If you’re struggling with getting over this huge betrayal – which is completely understandable – spend some energy getting yourself into a stable relationship with a therapist, and close the door on this person who used and deceived  you forever.

    Post # 21
    Member
    1377 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    A week or two of overlap at the beginning of the relationship when exclusively is muddled and loose ends are getting tied up could be forgivable. A double life for four years is not. Run!

    Post # 22
    Member
    441 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2017

    Long story short, I know of someone very close to me who had a similar thing happen to her (the guy is a pathological liar). IT IS NOT WORTH IT. How could you ever, ever trust a person who has lied to you for the majority of your relationship? Why would you want to stay? Cultivate friendships, lean on people, and cut ties with this loser. 

    Post # 23
    Member
    493 posts
    Helper bee

    View original reply
    happy4life :  honestly she probably found out about you and ended it with him so he proposed to you and “came clean” so he wouldn’t be left with no one. I know it hurts and can’t imagine what it’s like but do you really want to marry someone that was cheating on you for the majority of your relationship? 

    Post # 24
    Member
    1167 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2011

    Why would you stay with someone who went on vacation while you had a broken back?  Or, you know, cheated on you for 4 years?

    My Darling Husband currently has a broken back, this is week 4. The only times I’ve left his side is work and grocery store.  

    Post # 25
    Member
    2327 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: January 2015

    Yeah, nah. Shouldn’t even be a question

    Post # 26
    Member
    1288 posts
    Bumble bee

    What he did is absolutely disgusting. Stay no contact and keep working on moving on with your life. Anytime you start reminiscing about the past, think about the fact that he was simultaneously having those good times with someone else. 

    Post # 27
    Member
    507 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2016

    View original reply
    happy4life :  Move on, the heartache you feel now is mild compared to the pain he will cause as a husband. 

    He travels a lot for work so how could you ever trust him or feel secure in your marriage???

    Post # 28
    Member
    219 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2016

    You are crazy if you decide to stay with him, you deserve better than this! 

    Post # 29
    Member
    1249 posts
    Bumble bee

    Ending a long term relationship, especially one that you believed would result in marriage, is always hard…even when the circumstances makes it the only choice. You’re lonely and remembering the good times, trying to rationalize his behavior so that you weren’t completely wrong about this person you loved. This is to say, I think anyone in your place would have moments where they wonder about getting back together. But seriuosly…YEARS of living a double life. How could you ever trust him again? 

    1000% pass. Better to be lonely when you’re actually alone than to be lonely when you’re with someone who is so wrong for you.

    Post # 30
    Member
    227 posts
    Helper bee

    View original reply
    happy4life :  I’m not going to question why you miss or love him, because you two were together for a long time and he was your love. BUT now knowing what you know: WHY would you ever consider getting back together with this derelict? He’s such a bullshit artist!

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