(Closed) Fiancé didn't sound to happy about this…read

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
2281 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

If your grandma is your closest confidante, then you’re in a good position to tell her  that their uncertaintly about your fiance will be hurtful to him, and that it’s important to you that he feel welcome and appreciated. Then tell your fiance that you spoke to your grandparents and that they are clear about your feelings for him.

Nothing helps more than knowing that the person you love most is standing up for you and for your relationship.

Post # 4
Member
12976 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@ProfessorGirl:  This.

If you have a good relationship, you should tell her that her comments hurt you AND him a lot, and that he still is feeling the sting from them. 

Post # 5
Member
389 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@MrsJM2B:  I think you need to talk to your grandma more than to your Fiance. It’s only natural of him to feel that way after the reaction, and I think the ball is in your grandparents court to make him feel like they appreciate and accept him. 

Post # 7
Member
248 posts
Helper bee

I completely understand that grandparents that can say hurtful things. My grandmother loves to tell me that I better marry my SO before he realises that I can’t have kids. (He is well aware by the way) Sometimes I think the older we all become the easier it is to put our foot in our mouth. Often times, I think they truly believe that they have the best intentions. Although it sounds hurtful, try explaining to him that it has nothing to do with your Fiance as a person. You could be marrying ANYONE and they would be worried for you. I’m sure they feel the same bond with you that you have for them. The fact that they’ve never met him may worry them, especially because the entire dating process is very different now then it was for them. They just want what is best for you, and when they meet him I’m sure your Fiance will feel the love only a grandmother can give. Sometimes peoples love shows in different ways, and I believe that they are just trying to show their love for you. I think explaining it to him, in a different way might help. 

I’m not trying to say that what was said was right, I’m just saying that the road to hell is paved with good intentions. haha. Best of luck!!

Post # 8
Member
990 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

When my Fiance met my Paternal grandparents for the first time my grandfather’s words were you can’t get married you are to young… Thats really the issue. We are the babies so how exactly are we supposed to be old enough to get married and have babies of our own? As the youngest your grandparents might have thought that they wouldn’t be around when you got married or as some old people do, they lost touch with the society of newlyweds and starting a life. Its ok. Your grandparents will love you both and you can explain perhaps how close you are to Grandma and why she may have a hard time letting go because of it.

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