(Closed) Fiancé does not like daughters boyfriend

posted 1 year ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
9896 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

Why are you with him? He sounds like a controlling, immature, asshole.

Post # 3
Hostess
2251 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

I wouldn’t take your FI’s judgement seriously or factor it in to any decision at all for that matter. He sounds like an asshole. 

Post # 4
Hostess
1721 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Sounds like he needs to chill out. The kids are 14 – the likelihood that they are together forever is pretty low. 

Post # 5
Member
5815 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2018

Doesn’t your fiancé have a long running problem with your kids? If I remember correctly he doesn’t like to help you with them and often refuses to pick them up.  It sounds like this could be another wild excuse so he doesn’t have to pick them up in future. 

I have no idea why you are with someone who treats you so badly and walks over you so much.

Post # 6
Member
287 posts
Helper bee

Totally separate from the fiance issue..one thing that stood out for me

Your daughter ‘announced’ she had plans on sunday and needed a lift…now after telling your fiance you had a free weekend you are spending your sunday alone waiting for your daugjter and her boyfriends plans to finish. Not sure about others but when i was 14 i ASKED my parents if i could do things. And i cleared it with them before making plans with friends. And i really wasnt expecting my mum to drive me and my boyfriend around multiple times a week.

Post # 8
Member
1380 posts
Bumble bee

Is your fiance your daughter’s dad?

Does your fiance help parent your child? Does he have the right to?

Does your fiance think your daughter’s boyfriend is putting her in danger? (Consensual groping between teenagers is not a danger as much as parents don’t want to think about it. Talk to your daughter about safe sex and trust that you raised her to make good choices and to feel comfortable telling you if something is wrong and someone has hurt her)

If you answered no to any of these questions then what your fiance thinks about your daughter’s boyfriend doesn’t matter one bit.

Also, why are you with this man? He sounds controlling and like an asshole. And associates with people I would not want a child to be around.

Post # 9
Member
5190 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2017

Your fi sounds aweful. I’m curious how a 14yr old has a job that covers all his needs? You mean like movies and pop once in a while? 

Id seriously consider looking for a man that likes my children. Your daughter must feel,.on some level, that your Fiance dislikes her and treats her badly, guilting you in the meantime for doing normal parental duties.

Post # 11
Member
2308 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

Safe sex? I certainly wouldn’t encourage her to have any sex at 14. Your fiancé may be overreacting, but I would also be concerned with 14 year olds groping each other. I personally wouldn’t allow it. Holding hands is ok. Groping is way too much.

 

Post # 12
Member
2912 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 1996

lulubelle2017 :  I’d really want a description of what this “groping” consisted of before I condemned it. It doesn’t sound like the OP’s fiance does a very accurate job of judging people overall, so him announcing that he “hates” a 14 year old that lots of other parents seem to love might be problematic.

Post # 13
Member
1380 posts
Bumble bee

lulubelle2017 :  I wouldn’t encourage a teenager to have sex either. But I’d rather a teenager know all the ins and outs of how to protect themselves from disease and pregancy *before* they start having sex. And young teenagers have bodily autonomy and their own sexuality that they are discovering and exploring. I’d want them to be well educated and able to make decisions they are comfortable with. Particularly because young people who are educated about sex and whose parents are open about it are less likely to be pressured into doing something they are uncomfortable with and are more likely to feel comfortable coming to their parents if someone has done something to them that they didn’t want.

Post # 14
Member
3193 posts
Sugar bee

penny1403 :  I know you think you come here to just vent your frustrations that you have with your fiancé, but you really need to go back and read all of your past posts because it does not paint him in a good light.  I’m not even sure how you consider yourself to actually be in a relationship at this point.

What redeeming qualities does he have?  

Post # 15
Member
287 posts
Helper bee

She mentioned before that she wanted to be married by the time she was 40 so perhaps thats why she stayed with him…

Otherwise,considering how much she looks down on others who dont have same income/lifestyle as her, im not sure why she is interested in associating with the likes of her fiance/his friends/family. 

OP also makes reference to being a single parent  a few times even though her fiance lives with them so deep down and dont think she really considers them a true partnership at all…

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