Fiance does not like my ring and neither do I really

posted 1 week ago in Engagement
Post # 31
Member
1276 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

If neither of you like it, just return it and get what you really want. Problem solved. 

Post # 32
Member
6643 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2016

If you have the option to return it and get your money back and neither of you like this ring and would both prefer something else (and you also have similar ideas about what the something else should be), then it seems like returning it is the best choice for you and your situation.

Post # 33
Member
4735 posts
Honey bee

bluetrue :  Return it definitely.  Absolutely.  Positively. You’re not going to learn to like it over time.  Get another ring that you both go shopping for.  And price out diamonds online. Figure how much you want to spend. You get better diamonds for less  online. 

I think you would be happy if your ring was a 1 carat solitaire.  5 is on the smaller side and it bothers you. A bliingy setting, wraps, none of that is going to make you like it more.  Find out how much diamond you both can afford 

Post # 34
Member
133 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

A half carat would be a nice center on a halo. Could your jeweler change out the head on the band for a halo with a half carat center?

Post # 35
Member
133 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

Post # 36
Member
971 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

The simple solution is to return it. I think you’d get over that ring not being in the original engagement photos before you’d learn to love the ring permanently. 

Post # 37
Member
3989 posts
Honey bee

Return it, pick something out together so you have the special memory of doing it together, and do a simple new proposal. Maybe I’m just a cold biotch, but I feel like you’re making yourself miserable putting so much sentiment on the jewelry itself.

Post # 38
Member
264 posts
Helper bee

As the owner of a solitaire, I want to gently remind you that “plain” settings like that have the most versatility. As others have said, there are blinged out bands to add sparkle, contours and wraps and enhancers to add interest, etc. Even if you replace this ring, don’t totally rule out solitaires until you’re sure it’s not just the size of the center stone that you’re not loving. 

Post # 39
Member
205 posts
Helper bee

Return it before your warranty goes out, but before picking a different ring, look at LOTS of ring pictures online to see just what you really like, not an idea of what you like or what you think you should like. Life is too short to worry about regretting a ring. Return it and move on. 

Post # 40
Member
2155 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2019

If you can return it, do that. Clearly neither of you are excited about the ring, and personally, I wouldn’t keep something we both didn’t like because of proposal pictures. Who cares? You won’t even look at those once your engagment pictures come in. Return it and get the ring you want, or let him pick something out. 

Post # 41
Member
94 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2020

I know that this is literally the place to get input from others, but I think you have to brush off any outside comments and only do what you and your fiance feel 100% certain about.

I personally have a half carat bezel solitaire and will have a totally plain band which is the Jewish tradition. I also will have a 7 stone ring from my grandmother and can get a bit more blingy if I want too.A solitaire has so much flexibility, but any comments of “small” or otherwise you just have to brush off. You can get “Oh that’s a bit flashy” with a full carat too.

Get the full confidence between you and your fiance, and size, shape, and comments won’t matter, even if you change it or stay with it. 😊 

Post # 42
Member
1282 posts
Bumble bee

You are attaching unworthy sentiment to something that neither of you actually like. You made a mistake. That happens, but now is the time to fix it.

Return it. Get something that makes you happy and attach your sentiment to that. Make the voyage of finding your forever ring together the joyful memory so you can look at your hand for years to come and smile.

Post # 43
Member
9672 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

If you’re still in the return window then I would just return it.

Tell him since he isn’t fond of the ring you’d really rather have something you picked out together.

Post # 44
Member
36 posts
Newbee

Return it and go shopping together. I made the mistake of not knowing what I wanted and went for a simple, small solitaire, basically the first ring I tried on, because I was so overwhelmed (and hate any attention). I regret it as I am really into the vintage/heirloom styles now. It’s too late for me so go, get the one you both like together, esp since you both are on the same page. Make it a romantic day out. 

Post # 45
Member
1005 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

I’d suggest going to a store and trying on some different styles to see if it’s what you really want and if you find something that you really love first. If so then return it and get the one you want. I mean you have to wear it for the rest of your life so it’s okay to change your mind. 

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