(Closed) Fiancé does not want kids

posted 4 years ago in No Kids
Post # 33
Member
1406 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

A woman who is 36 and really really wants children has to get motivated now to make it happen before it becomes very difficult or impossible to conceive due to age-related infertility.

It does not sound like you are driven to have a child, but instead ambivalent. Therefore, it doesn’t seem like you will take any decisive steps now to move in that direction. So most likely, time is going to run out and the decision will be made for you, at least as far as a biological child.

People can be happy without children, the only question is will YOU be happy?  

 

Post # 34
Member
370 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2020

looking at your plan i highly doubt you will regret not having them tbh you seem to have a clear vision but also if it eases your worries if you did for whatever reason change your mind you can always adopt, but i really think especially being a planner its more societal pressures putting those thoughts in your head and not your actual desires.

Post # 37
Member
370 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2020

View original reply
moonzie :  to add to your last comment, if your on the fence this doesnt have to be a deal breaker but its something to consider. example my partner actually wanted kids not on the fence, he wanted them I told him I am not putting my body through that and he needed to decide what he wanted more biological kids or me and we couldnt move forward until he knew 100%. It was a hard but important talk I also told him im open to adopting but no bio kids ever, even if an accident happened i wouldnt carry to term.

A year later he proposed and we are happily engaged. Point being wanting kids or being on the fence when the other says no can be a deal breaker but doesnt have to be as long as your not going into it thinking you will change their mind.

Post # 38
Member
403 posts
Helper bee

View original reply
moonzie :  This is a BIGGIE. If he  doesn’t want kids and you do, break the engagement. This issue could tear a marriage apart a few years down the road. I predict you stopping BC and getting pregnant, him getting furious and leaving.

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