Post # 1
I want to invite my oldest friend, whom I’ve known since I was 15, to my wedding. My fiance does not want my friend (who is male) coming to the wedding.The reason: When I was 17 I decided I would rather lose my virginity to this friend than to some boy who would end up breaking my heart. So we very awkwardly, sort of, did the deed. It never affected our friendship, we remain friends to this day and its not something that gets brought up at all. We don’t see eachother often (we’re in our 30’s now, life gets busy) But we do still keep in touch and visit about once or twice a year for coffee.
My friend was expecting to be invited to my wedding. My fiance does not think it is appropriate to invite him due to the whole virginity thing (it came up in conversation once). I told my friend how fiance feels, hoping he would understand. Instead, the friend is very hurt 🙁
I honestly wish my friend was there to see me get married. We’ve always been there for eachother for the big things. However, bringing it up again with fiance will cause another arguement. Fiance has no issue with us being friends, just doesn’t want him at wedding.
What do I do? On one hand, it’s fiance’s wedding too and he needs to be comfortable. On the other, I think I will regret not allowing my oldest friend to come.
Post # 3
I think your fiance is in the wrong on this one. So what you guys did it once like 15 years ago! Obviously it never led to anything else and you’ve never had any romantic relationship. If he’s okay with you being friends it makes no sense for him not to be at the wedding. I would bring it up with Fiance again and explain why having your friend there would mean so much to you.
Post # 4
my guy would say the same thing, idk I think I would feel the same way if the role was reversed. Just wondering..How would you feel if the situation was reversed would you not care? Only thing i don’t get is- he is okay with you guys being friends and seeing each other and talking but not okay to come to the wedding? That makes no sense. With me my fiances feelings on our wedding day would mean most to me, and no persons feelings would come before his. I wouldn’t want my Fiance to feel uncomfortable whether or not he’s being irrational or not because at the end of the day its both of your wedding, not just yours not just his. Good Luck keep updated!
Post # 5
Your husband is being really immature and insecure about this and needs to get over himself. Normally I’m all for putting myself in the other person’s shoes, but this is ridiculous. I can see this being an issue if you are both very young maybe? I think he needs to grow up. You said he has no problem with you being friends with this guy, so what’s his deal? Have you asked him specifically why he doesn’t want him at the wedding?
Post # 6
Usually I would be on your FIs side, but the way you describe it I think if he’s okay with you two being friends in the first place he should be okay with you inviting him to the wedding.
Post # 7
@PixelMePretty: I agree.
It’s been 15 years, your Fiance needs to get over it.
Post # 8
@christine_82: I think your fiance is wrong. This happened AGES ago.
Post # 10
I would definitely invite your friend. The only problem I see here is your FI’s jealousy and frankly, he needs to get over it.
Post # 11
Well I see where your husband is coming from. But.. if he has no problem with you being friends with him then I’m confused as to why he won’t allow him an invite? I can see if you said he absolutely does not feel comfortable with me carrying on a friendship, then obviously don’t invite him, but your fiance is fine with it. A friendship is a lot more intimate of an experience than being one of many invited to a wedding.
Post # 12
I think your fiancé isn’t being as mature as he could be. To make you happy he should let you invite him!
Post # 14
My ex boyfriend may very well be one of my fiance’s groomsmen. At a certain point everyone has to get over their jealousy and realize that you’re choosing to marry him, not the guy you slept with one time when you were a teenager. That should be enough, and if it isn’t then that’s a red flag.