Fiance doesnt want his brothers girlfriend at our wedding.

posted 6 months ago in Guests
Post # 16
Member
776 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

dont invite her, you dont need anyone in your life who doesnt want to be there she is prob jealous of you.  stop ackloedgeing her and move on with your life

Post # 17
Member
123 posts
Blushing bee

I don’t agree with this idea that you have to invite someone to your wedding even if they treat you like crap. I agree with your fiance.  She should not be invited.  She sounds petty, immature and frankly jealous of you.   When people are nasty and rude for no reason jealousy is usually the problem. Even if you are “pampered” why is it her business?  I know women who don’t have to work, travel and buy whatever they want when they want and I don’t dislike them for it.  By inviting her to your wedding you are telling her that you are okay with her ongoing disrespect of you, your fiance and your relationship.  Bad bahavior should have consequences.  Plus who wants all that negative energy on their special day.  If your fiance’s brother is butt hurt than he should have address her behavior a long time ago.

Post # 18
Member
8945 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Yeah I agree with the other tough love poster. You are causing this at this point. She doesn’t have to like you. You need to accept that. Whilst it would be nice if she was civil to you in the situations where you were forced to interact, she doesn’t have to be nice to you. There is also nothing worse than someone who continually tries to engage with you when you have been pretty damn clear you want nothing to do with them. In fact that could be seen as a passive aggressive or outright aggressive move. Leave her alone.

You have the right to not invite her to the wedding but then you will have to live with any consequences of that action. Which probably means your Future Brother-In-Law won’t attend. But it could also mean that your Mother-In-Law and Father-In-Law might decide not to attend. So unfortunately you need to think about what you and your Fiance would do if that situation arose.

Post # 19
Member
9071 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

Invite her, I bet she’ll decline. 

Post # 20
Member
338 posts
Helper bee

FH’s brother, let him make the decision.  Honestly given your other post in which you discuss his mother not wanting to invite her siblings because they’ll “cause drama,” if FH decides not to invite the girlfriend and his parents give him grief about it, he can just point out that she’ll “cause drama” if she’s there.

Post # 21
Member
1254 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2018 - -

I wouldn’t invite either one of them, but cutting people out of my life is really easy for me. But it could be nice to show her she’s specifically not welcome because she doesn’t like you and obviously isn’t happy for you.

Is your fiancé’s brother a doormat? Why does he like someone who doesn’t like any of his family and likewise don’t like her in return???

Post # 22
Member
3090 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2021

Fuck her. 

Post # 23
Member
233 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2019

I would personally still invite her just for the fact the it could cause further drama in the future if you don’t. She sounds like a b**** so chance are she’ll decline, but even if she doesn’t you’ll still be the bigger and more mature person. You also don’t have to interact with her during your wedding. 

Normally I would say eff that person, but being that it’s someone who has been in the family that long, I wouldn’t risk something starting unnecessary drama in the future.

Post # 24
Member
1827 posts
Buzzing bee

Don’t invite her period. She made her bed with you both and now she has to face the consequences of her behavior. Tell you fiancé he needs to tell his dad that, there is no valid reason for her to dislike you. I don’t care if you grew up the princess of Persia and has everything she doesn’t, it is inappropriate for her to dislike you for your upbringing or lifestyle. His dad needs to be told that him making excuses for her shitty and immature behavior will not be tolerated. And that if this girl says anything disparaging about you in future that he fully expects his father to tell her she is in the wrong and that her negative attitude and comments have no place in this family. 

 

beenonynmous :  

Post # 25
Member
5741 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2016

DeniseSecunda :  all of this over and over.

OP- Kill Em with kindness is a foolish game plan when you know someone just doesn’t like you (especially when you’ve learned it’s pretty much just because you’re well taken care of and living life well, which sounds like she’s jealous). Do you intend to start walking around looking haggard and destitute to make her feel better? No. Be polite and ignore her. Get out of her face. If she’s turning her whole body away from you during conversations, take the cue and go talk to the non-assholes at the party. Make the commitment to not give her anymore of your time or energy.

Your Fiance doesn’t want to invite her. Don’t. She’s going to have shit to say either way; you might as well enjoy your day and leave her to stew in her stank attitude away from you both.

Post # 26
Member
2946 posts
Sugar bee

beenonynmous :  Idk she kinda sounds like she wouldnt come anyway? Unless she shows up for the free food and drinks and then bails like on holidays lol

Since she doesnt like you anyway, i would just say something the next time i see her. Like “hey its pretty clear that you dont like me or Fiance so you dont want to come to the wedding, right?” and she will either try to defend herself about why that isnt true or she will agree. 

It kind of sounds like you are doing this more to appease Fiance parents so you may have to take that relationship into consideration while making your decision. 

Post # 27
Member
298 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: City, State

Duplicate, sorry

Post # 28
Member
298 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: City, State

beenonynmous :  I personally would not invite her, she sounds like a nightmare. If she behaves like that at Thanksgiving, what will she do to you on your wedding day? You can’t make her like you. You may as well have a happy wedding day.

Post # 29
Member
596 posts
Busy bee

Don’t give a second thought to this girl’s opinion of you. It doesn’t matter. She sounds like a miserable person. Send an invitation to the brother only, with no plus one. 

Post # 30
Member
110 posts
Blushing bee

I think you care too much about her opinion of you. Just let it be. Do not kill her with kindness, it probably comes off fake – making her hate you more. It’s clear she doesn’t like you, just be nice and cordial when needed but don’t try to be her friend. I’d probably still invite her if I were you. Then it’s her choice if he comes or not. If she doesn’t come, great. If she does then just acknowledge it and stay away. I’d hope she wouldn’t smother you with negative vibes but I’m sure you won’t even notice her.

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