Post # 1
My fiance and his mother have a pretty strained, tense relationship. He loves her but does not agree with a lot of decisions she makes and how she treats other people. he’s been very disappointed in her lack of enthusiasm in the wedding planning process and in some other behaviors she has exhibited the past few years that have cause him some pain and upset. Therefore, he doesn’t want to dance with her at our wedding. I support him in his decision, although I think he may regreat it in the future, but I’m not going to force him to dance with her if he doesn’t want to.
However, I still want to dance with my father and feel that if I do and he doesn’t dance with his mother it will be blaringly obvious that there is something going on.
Should I still dance with my dad? have you ever been to a wedding where it’s been just a father/daughter dance and no mother/son dance even though she is present?
Post # 3
This is a tough call. I think some people might pick up on it, and if his mom wants to dance with him, it might be rubbing her face in it a little. Part of me says, don’t do an official father/daughter dance out of respect for your Fiance and his mom but maybe dance with him during a regular slow song, another part of me says that your Fiance should suck it up and dance with his mom because the dance is important to you, and another part of me says who cares, it’s your wedding dance with your dad even if your Fiance doesn’t dance with his mom.
I didn’t really want to dance with my dad to be honest. I love him, but we don’t have a close relationship and I felt like it would be weird. My husband really wanted to dance with his mom though, so I sucked it up and just did it. We ended up all dancing together to the same song.
Post # 4
I agree, don’t force him to dance with her if he doesn’t want to. I think the father/daughter dance is more special than the mother/son dance. People may notice, but I don’t think people wondering what is going on with your fiance and his mother is a good enough reason to skip dancing with your dad.
Post # 5
You each have your right to dance or not dance. I would still dance. Some may notice, but thats OK that was his decision to not dance and that means accepting any fallback from it whether its making his mother angry or people noticing and commenting.
Post # 6
I’m not dancing with my father, but he will be dancing with his mom. I’m not concerned with it myself.
I have a funny relationship with my dad, and am just now back in contact after several years of estrangement. He is very much not into rehashing the past. I’m basically okay with starting over, but I have no interest in celebrating some daddy/daughter relationship we don’t have. He and his mom have had a rocky relationship (very rocky), but they’ve both been woking hard at the relationship and are quite close now.
I don’t want to punish him for the lack of relationship my father and I have. And I don’t think you should punish yourself. There may be people who notice, there may not. It’s entirely up to you, but I wouldn’t force him. And you shouldn’t deny yourself the chance to dance with your dad.
Post # 7
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
I thought it traditionally only was a father-daughter dance and it’s only been in recent years that they’ve added the mother-son dance. I most likely wouldn’t notice so long as there is another announcement to distract me like “dinner is served” or the “bride and her father would like to invite guests to join them on the dance floor.”
Post # 8
- Wedding: September 2009 - Barr Mansion
I don’t think any of your guests will notice! Many weddings have only a father-daughter dance. Should be fine.
Post # 9
I agree that many weddings only have a father/daughter dance. We only had an “official” father-daughter dance, then my Darling Husband danced with his mom later in the evening while everyone else was dancing.
Post # 10
I agree with other posters: the mother-son dance is relatively new. I don’t think most of your guests will notice.