Well my own view on this has certainly changed over the years.
Rings are really a BIG DEAL here in North America… not so much anywhere else in the world. In some places men don’t wear Wedding Rings at all… and up until WW II that was also the norm here in North America. It only really became fashionable as a reminder of the wife & family back home. Now Wedding Rings for men are common place.
BUT as an Encore Bride of a certain age (over 50) I can say that for sure the men of my Dad’s generation generally didn’t wear em, even if there was one used for the then “fashionable” exchange of rings at the ceremony.
In my first marriage (circa 1980), as a young woman in my early 20s, I felt very much like you do now… absolutely, my Husband MUST wear a WBand… for all the symbolic reasons… a statement of our love, he’s taken etc.
Lol, of course 30+ years later, and a marriage that went off the rails (alcoholism & abuse) and ended in Divorce, I can say that in the end the ring meant more to me, than it ever did to him.
Truthfuly, I’d have rather have had a good marriage without the “symbolism” than a bad one where he wore the ring everyday (as he did)
This time round,
Mr TTR told me up front that he wasn’t a jewellery guy… (and he cannot wear a ring to work). He’s over 60, and I know that I’m not going to change his mind at this point in life… so a ring was out. I was perhaps a tad upset at first… but that didn’t last long. In the end we found our own compromise to the situation.
He does wear a watch… so I bought him a Wedding Watch to wear. He likes to joke that it is still his Wedding Band (aka “watch band”) and it did for me fulfill the idea of an unbroken circle… metal band with a clasp, no buckle. And the “timeless” commitment, and met my need to find something of significance to give him to mark the occasion.
We really made his wish for himself, a part of our entwined lives in the end… as he too gave me a Wedding Watch.
For the actual Wedding Ceremony, we kept the exchange of rings symbolism… except I presented his plain WBand first during the vows, even tho it only got as far on his finger as his first knuckle (as it was sized to fit me)
PHOTO – Wedding Ring being presented to Mr TTR
Then when doing the rings for me, we put two WBands together… a sparkly one that was mine all along, and the plain one. So essentially, the plain one now represents “both of us”. I can wear it as part of my set (ERing & 2 WBands) or I can mix and match it with my set as I see fit. And it comes in handy having a plain band to wear when I find myself doing something that isn’t diamond friendly (Home Renovating – Painting – Deep Cleaning – Gardening – Scuba Diving). And it is nice having a WBand I can wear 24/7 no matter what… I’ve always been the gal who loves rings, so if I have my ring finger empty it would otherwise bother me quite a bit.
PHOTO – All the rings on my WRing Finger as they appeared after the Ceremony. IRL, I mix em up… sometimes wearing 1, 2, or 3… as my mood and what I’m doing in any one day strikes me (also corresponds to the “stacked” ring trend that is popular now)
Since we’ve been married, and home from our Honeymoon lots of friends have said “Lets see the Rings”… or noticed the lack of ring on Mr TTR and said, “Hey where is your Wedding Band”… at which time he either points to the plain band on my finger… or his Watch Band… and tells whichever “story” fits. In the end it works for us.
To be honest, it doesn’t bother me one bit that he has chosen not to wear a ring. Afterall this IS A GUY I TRUST a million times over with my heart. I have no reason to doubt his faithfulness to me. So his wearing or not wearing a ring, really isn’t an issue / insecurity of mine. Lol, but then I’m a lot older woman this time round.
— — —
For the gal who said she’d want her guy to wear a ring because it keeps other women away (saw the ring, and moved on). I hear ya, but honestly it isn’t a ring that will keep temptation at bay… sadly there are still women who hit on married men… BUT ULTIMATELY it is the man who is responsible for how he acts and the message he puts out there (he could just as easily be a player, who puts that ring in his pocket).
That is WHAT REALLY MATTERS in a marriage, how a guy feels about you in his heart… not what is or isn’t on his finger. (Lots of men who are exclusive and not married, who also would tell the hot to trot gal to take a walk).
So ya, I don’t buy that argument.