(Closed) Fiance doing a 180' right before the wedding?!

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 16
1216 posts
Bumble bee

If I was sick I really wouldn’t appreciate reading the text ‘come home without the attitude’. I would say back off and leave the guy alone when he is sick.

I’m a mom with 2 kids and when I am sick the last thing I want is my dh in my face with things he thinks I’ll need or a million questions about the kids and what they might need. Figure it out for 48 hours  and leave me alone. I also don’t want to hear ‘are you feeling better now?’  doesn’t sounds to me like you have a bigger issue at all; sounds like the guy is really sick and grumpy.

Post # 17
245 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

My husband gets a little grumpy when he’s sick. It’s probably illness and stress like PP said. But, you could still ask him. 

And I could be totally wrong, and it’s good to help take care of a loved one when they’re sick (if they like it), but there’s no time limit on being sick. If he’s sick, he’s sick. It sounds like you’re possibly making it about you. And if I was sick, that would really bug me.

Just give him space to heal and once he’s feeling better, ask him if being grumpy while sick is the norm for him and if next time he tries to tone it down because it was bothering you. Just remind him that when you’re sick you’re not rude and you would appreciate it if he did the same. I’d even tell him if he needs more space, fine, ask for it. But please don’t be a jerk for the duration of your illness. 

Post # 18
11648 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

Four days? Not to excuse him, but Fiance is a grumpy meanie when he’s sick, and as it’s only been 4 days your text is a little much. He’s sick and at work and you texted him that? Yikes. 

Im not saying it’s okay for him to be snotty but we are all just human. When you’re sick, you have no resources to utilize best coping strategies.

i wouldn’t fight with someone who is sick. It’s pointless and unsupportive. I would be raging mad if I were sick and Fiance sent me a text like that! 

I think you’re way stressed, and anxious, as is totally understandable. Take some time to care for yourself and chillax. Put this aside, it’s nothing — unless you have more to this story. 

Post # 20
13595 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Dude, he’s sick.  Let him rest and recover.  If Darling Husband sent me a text about not having an attitude when I’ was truly sick, I’d be pissed too and have a snarky response back.  \

For crying out loud, the guy is sick.  People recover differently.  When I’m sick, I like to be left alone to my misery, and someone coming to rub me down with essential oils with literally be the most annoying thing on the planet at that time for me.   It’s not a red flag about your relationship, or pre-wedding jitters.  It’s an adult who doesn’t get sick a lot recovering from an illness.  Yeesh!

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