(Closed) Fiancé dragging feet with decision making

posted 6 years ago in Logistics
Post # 3
Member
141 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Sign them yourself?  I would hate to wait too long and then not have either choice available.  My Fiance thinks the wedding will plan itself and hasn’t worried about the details, meanwhile I’m on WB obsessing for the both of us 🙂  I am sure people will say otherwise, and encourage you to talk with him about this and see if there are underlying issues, blah, blah, blah.  But, sometimes people just procrastinate and you have to do it yourself. Just my 2cents…

Post # 4
Member
1104 posts
Bumble bee

Have you met both photographers? If you haven’t, I would do that first. You might really like one more than the other. If you’ve already met them, I would tell him you have decided Photographer A is the best fit for you, and you will be signing the contract tomorrow/next week unless he tells you otherwise. Sounds like he needs a deadline.

The way I did it was set aside a bit of time once a week or so and go to Darling Husband with our current “this is what we have to decide” list. I would give him two or three options and tell him what I thought. Neither of us really wanted to procrastinate on anything 🙂

Post # 5
Member
5118 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I’d have a sit-down, not about the photography itself, but setting up a ‘wedding game plan.’ Mr.ND HATES planning ‘too far ahead,’ so wedding planning was driving him (and therefore, me) insane. So we sat down, and I told him that in ‘wedding world’ things book FAST. We don’t get to wait until 3 months out to do everything, and that there is a process (guest list #s before venue selection, ceremony and reception venues both need to be open on the same day, can’t order x until we know y, etc, etc). 

I asked him how much involvement he wanted. I wasn’t going to let him do NOTHING, but I also wasn’t going to let him hold up ALL the planning and avoid it entirely (like your Fiance seems to be doing). We’ve come to the agreement that I’m the wedding Pres and he’s the VP. I will do the research, give him 2 or 3 options I like, and get his input. There’s a deadline. If he doesn’t get back to me by that date (with either a preference or a concern *ie- I hate x photog, or these are all to expensive, etc*) then it’s my choice and he just signs on the dotted line. He gets his chance to participate (and nothing’s stopping him from doing his OWN research and presenting options to me) but someone needs to steer the ship before ya crash and burn. I think coming up with a system is best, and then go from there. 

Post # 7
Member
5118 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Miss B to Mrs. Z:  Glad to hear that things went well and it was a calm, happy discussion with a good outcome 🙂

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