Post # 1
So, I learned from the very beginning in the wedding planning that my fiancé is way pickier than me, which I wasn’t surprised of. What he is currently being picky about is our photographer. Yes they’re expensive and after months of researching, I have found two (2) really awesome and affordable photographers. He keeps saying he wants to negotiate with them on their prices and I’ve told him that this is an area with little to no negotiating room. So, I provided him with their contact numbers. That was weeks or months ago? It’s all a blur right now.
I’ve printed out both contracts for his review, completed a pro’s and con’s list, and we have looked at their portfolios numerous times. He has been dragging his feet for months now. I have the urge to sign the contract myself, but I know that’s not nice and not me. Every time I even bring it up, he groans and changes the subject. Does anyone have any suggestions for me? I just don’t know how else to communicate with him. I am so frustrated and this has started to make me feel anxious. So what’s his deal? What can I do?
Post # 3
Sign them yourself? I would hate to wait too long and then not have either choice available. My Fiance thinks the wedding will plan itself and hasn’t worried about the details, meanwhile I’m on WB obsessing for the both of us 🙂 I am sure people will say otherwise, and encourage you to talk with him about this and see if there are underlying issues, blah, blah, blah. But, sometimes people just procrastinate and you have to do it yourself. Just my 2cents…
Post # 4
Have you met both photographers? If you haven’t, I would do that first. You might really like one more than the other. If you’ve already met them, I would tell him you have decided Photographer A is the best fit for you, and you will be signing the contract tomorrow/next week unless he tells you otherwise. Sounds like he needs a deadline.
The way I did it was set aside a bit of time once a week or so and go to Darling Husband with our current “this is what we have to decide” list. I would give him two or three options and tell him what I thought. Neither of us really wanted to procrastinate on anything 🙂
Post # 5
I’d have a sit-down, not about the photography itself, but setting up a ‘wedding game plan.’ Mr.ND HATES planning ‘too far ahead,’ so wedding planning was driving him (and therefore, me) insane. So we sat down, and I told him that in ‘wedding world’ things book FAST. We don’t get to wait until 3 months out to do everything, and that there is a process (guest list #s before venue selection, ceremony and reception venues both need to be open on the same day, can’t order x until we know y, etc, etc).
I asked him how much involvement he wanted. I wasn’t going to let him do NOTHING, but I also wasn’t going to let him hold up ALL the planning and avoid it entirely (like your Fiance seems to be doing). We’ve come to the agreement that I’m the wedding Pres and he’s the VP. I will do the research, give him 2 or 3 options I like, and get his input. There’s a deadline. If he doesn’t get back to me by that date (with either a preference or a concern *ie- I hate x photog, or these are all to expensive, etc*) then it’s my choice and he just signs on the dotted line. He gets his chance to participate (and nothing’s stopping him from doing his OWN research and presenting options to me) but someone needs to steer the ship before ya crash and burn. I think coming up with a system is best, and then go from there.
Post # 6
Thank you for you responses, we both talked about how much he wants to be involved in certain aspects of the wedding, what I can do on my own, and deadlines were set. Also, we signed a contract with a photographer. *Insert big sigh here*. I had to re-explain to my fiance about how fast things book up. He forgets that we are having a long engagement because venues were getting booked a year out. It was an overall good discussion as it helped make progress with the planning. Thank you again for you input, it truly helped!
Post # 7
@Miss B to Mrs. Z: Glad to hear that things went well and it was a calm, happy discussion with a good outcome 🙂