Fiancé flirting with colleague

posted 6 months ago in Relationships
Post # 3
1709 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

I would skip the letter and  wait for her to come back home and ask her for the ring back. No sense in beating a dead horse. She betrayed u and keeps betraying you.  Move on and find someone who won’t cheat. You won’t ever know the entire truth and will only prolong your torture by playing investigator. Let her go and find someone better.

Post # 4
735 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

rwise :  Firstly I just wanted to say I really feel for you, seeing those awful messages must have been horrendous 

Secondly, the letter is very well written and articulate bar some typos where words are missing (I can imagine the speed and emotion going into it though)

If you’re breaking up with her make it a clear, closed ending. Not three dots. Those dots will allow her back in.

I would ask for the ring back and keep looking to the future. Another girl deserves your devotion. No second chances with this sort of thing, in fact she’s already had a second chance and she blew it…

Post # 5
220 posts
Helper bee

I agree with PP that you should skip the letter. But to play devil’s advocate, did you see her respond to that message or a message that preceeded it? Is there a chance that guy just sent it trying to start the flirting back up after she had stopped? 

Post # 7
183 posts
Blushing bee

rwise :  after you talked about it and she knew you could see her social media she went ahead and sent a message she is thinking about him? Wow! There may not be anything physical …yet but she’s emotionally cheating on you. You deserve better than this! And yes, ask for your ring back!

Post # 8
195 posts
Blushing bee

Write the letter for catharsis. Read it to yourself. Cry. Then tear it up or burn it. If you’re going to break up with her, do so, but putting it all into a letter AND having the conversations will make you come off worse than you deserve. 

Post # 9
307 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2019

Oh gosh. I am so sorry. I can’t imagine the emotions you are experiencing right now. 

I think getting your ring back and trying to move on is your best bet. If you stay with her, you’ll always wonder if the behavior will be repeated. Especially with a job like hers that entails being away so much  

Good luck. Gia


Post # 10
236 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

[content moderated for name calling]

Post # 11
2940 posts
Sugar bee

Doesn’t ring fake to me. These things happen every day. 

Post # 14
8762 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Putting aside what she has done, which is unforgiveable, It’s hard to believe that knowing that you read her FB messages once before that she allowed it to happen again. Either she wanted this to happen or she’s highly careless and distractible. If it’s the latter, please tell us what airline she flies for and her schedule so we can all avoid her. 

Back to the main issue, end things when she gets back but I’d toss that letter and keep the break up short and swift. Simply tell her calmly and cooly that you are now finished and want the ring back. In many states she is legally obliged to return it to you.

Then block her from everything. Do not fall victim to any desire for “closure.” All your long heartfelt, emotional letter shows her is that she was able to hurt you. It gives her the satisfaction that not one but two men have deep burning emotions for her.

Don’t give her the satisfaction. 

Post # 15
1980 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

rwise :  Ryan I am so sorry your fiancée has betrayed your trust. It breaks my heart hearing the pain you are going through. You are a kind man that clearly had expectations that your partner would miss only you (rightly so). I know this must be incredibly difficult, but figure out if you want to call off the engagement and not marry her. If you truly want to do that, then don’t let her claims of being sorry or never doing it again blind you. 

Stay strong. We are here for you. 

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