Post # 1
LADIES! I’m 2 days engaged! I don’t want to over-think, or analyze the situation, but when do you start saying “fiance”? Do you even use the word?
Our car ride home following the engagement, out of nowhere I burst “oh my God, your my FIANCE!”. The word seems almost cliche to me…. When I think of either introducing him, or reffering him as my fiance, I just feel akward. Maybe it is because we have been together for so long, I am just used to reffering him as a boyfriend, or by first name.
What I am asking is
- Do you use the term “fiance”
- How long did it take you (and him) to get used to using that word?
- Is it improper to NOT use the word “fiance”
- Is it proper to subsitute “fiance” for “future husband”?
- Is it looked down upon from older generations (such as parents, or grandparents) if we choose not to use the title “fiance”?
If you ladies have experience, or opinions on this matter, I would love to hear it!
Post # 4
@xkatexo67: We never used the term. It just sounded pretentious and awkward to us.
Post # 5
Do you use the term “fiance”? Yes I do!
How long did it take you (and him) to get used to using that word? Same day. We called each other fiance/fiancee in private from time to time beforehand.
Is it improper to NOT use the word “fiance”? To each his own, I guess. But I don’t understand why anyone wouldn’t want to use the “upgraded” word.
Is it proper to subsitute “fiance” for “future husband”? I don’t see why not. It’s a little long, though. I use FH on here instead of FI.
Is it looked down upon from older generations (such as parents, or grandparents) if we choose not to use the title “fiance”? I’ve never asked or thought about it.
Post # 6
the word fiancé weirded me out in the beginning, so ill say significant other, but I mostly just use his name when talking about him. Everyone else just calls him my FI. Just do whatever you feel most comfortable with! We are 8 months into our engagement now, and I’m finally starting to get used to saying fiancé!
Post # 7
I started using the word fiancé as soon as we got engaged. It felt very strange because we had been boyfriend/girlfriend for 6 years. I rarely used it, though.
Now that we’re married, calling him my husband is just as odd. Guess I have to get used to that one, though.
Post # 8
We never really used those terms – we never even referred to each other as boyfriend and girlfriend, it was always just “partner.” Fiance has always seemed kinda pretentious to me, and a little pointless, too, because the whole point of being a fiance/fiancee is that it’s a transitory phase (i.e. waiting to get married).
We never suffered any fallout from not calling each other “fiance” or “fiancee” – the older generation didn’t seem to care (how often do you refer to your SO by their ‘title’ instead of their name?). You can call him whatever you like – Honeypot Snugglebunch if that’s what works for you guys! It doesn’t change anything and no one really seems to mind too much.
Post # 9
@Loubride: Thanks! We have been together just shy of 6 years as well. You bring up a great point, as well as understanding! New things take time to get used to!
Post # 10
I really dislike the term fiance. Once formally engaged, he’ll continue to be called my boyfriend in some situations, and husband in others. We’ve been together for almost a decade, but that doesn’t really effect my dislike of saying “fiance” in real life. “FI” (fee in my head) on weddingbee is superior, but I hope I don’t acidentally use it in real life, lol.
Post # 11
“Husband” seems more do-able….something about Fiance is just aqward to the both of us. I am very humble and don’t like to draw too much attention. For some reason, I associate “fiance” as too flashy and out of character.
Post # 12
@xkatexo67: I used fiancé the entire engagement.
Post # 13
@xkatexo67: NO i hate the term Fiance, it’s so pretentious. I just say partner, and i’ve got a rock on my finger if people want to put two and two together. One of the many reasons i can’t wait to be married in 11 weeks!!
Post # 14
@Missy_Star: Oh and i didn’t mean i think it’s pretentious when other people say it – it just makes me feel pretentious when i say it! To each their own of course
Post # 15
Haha interesting, I don’t find the term fiance pretentious at all. I used it as soon as we got engaged… only took me like a week to get used to it. I hate the term ‘partner’ for some reason, and I wanted a word that showed that the commitment level of our relationship was far more than just boyfriend/girlfriend. FI calls me his “lady” to his friends, and will often refer to me as his wife. He really doesn’t use the word fiancee. Whatever 🙂 To each their own.
Post # 16
After 20 years married to his ex, and me only having been on the scene for a few years – my other half still refers to me as his new gf/mate/love/whatever comes out. Hes never referred to me as his fiance. To me hes my other half or on boards like this SO or LOTO (leader of the opposition lol)