Post # 1
I posted yesterday in another board about how so many things were going right. Well, we got some bad news. And they’ve cut back Fiance’s hours at work to 19 hours a week (he’s been there for over 5 years, and only makes 8.25 an hour). So, Needless to say, everything is on hold.
Fiance suffers from low self esteem. He had to help pay for his family (parents, little brother) when his dad lost his job 2 years ago. He was never offered anything back. His dreams of going to law school have changed, because he doesn’t think he can make it, and because he can’t afford it after helping his family. His family is full of toxic relationships, and he needs to get out (much like I do, but thats beside the point.)
He is beginning (FINALLY!) to search for full-time work. But now he feels like he wasted 5 years of his life getting his degree (Political science) because he now isn’t qualified for the job that he REALLY wants. On our alma maters career center site, all that he can find that he’s qualified for are sales positions, which he’d hate. I tried to tell him that he can always think of it as temporary, and he can always keep working on finding his dream job. I just don’t know what else to do for him.He was one of the hardest working people I know, working 2 jobs over the summer, paying for himself and his family with his low-paying job, helping his grandpa build a house, and going to a state university. I don’t know what’s happened.
Anyone have suggestions about what kinds of jobs he can look for, what I can do to support him, or atleast have anything similar happen? I want so badly to see him happy and productive again…
Post # 3
Your Fiance sounds a lot like my Darling Husband. He worked at the same low-paying restaurant job while putting himself through undergrad and grad school for 10 years. After he graduated it took him 9 months to find a job in his field. His current job is great for getting experience but it doesn’t pay much and it’s not even full time. He still works at the restaurant a day or two a week and not a week goes by that he doesn’t say he regrets going to grad school.
I’m underemployed myself. I think it’s going to take your Fiance some time to come to terms with the challenges that lie ahead. Our generation was raised with the belief that as long as I went to college and worked hard, we would be successful. That may have been true for our parents generation, but the world is different now. I can’t tell you how many college educated people I know who aren’t able to find work in their chosen field.
If his current job isn’t providing what he needs and he can’t find full time work, then it might be time to move on to another “just for now” job or add a 2nd part time job. Any job that provides for your needs and helps pay the bills is better than what a lot of people have right now.
Can he collect unemployment to fill in the gaps where his hours were cut? Just try to have patience with him, but don’t let him make too many excuses. Best of luck to the both of you.
Post # 4
@Macintosh: Thanks for the reply. i asaked for advice because I’m one of those people who can’t sleep until everything is done, fixed, or updated. lol he isn’t that type of person. i struggled with beng patient the other day when I wrote this, and I just felt helpless. He was told to bring his resume somewhere by a family friend. Hopefully that will turn into something. He did ask for my help writing a resume (which he has never had to do before) and Ifeel good thatI still get to help him. Thanks!
Post # 5
has he tried paralegal or legal assistant jobs to see if he can work in the law field….??
Post # 6
If he wants to be repaid, he needs to ask for it. If he wants to disengage from toxic relationships, I would advise against asking for it.
Why does he think he can’t go to law school? One of my good friends at law school was 40+ so age is definitely not a bar (particularly if you go part-time, more people will be older I think).
I would suggest he look beyond just his alma mater’s career site for jobs. You have to look everywhere. This is where you can help him a lot, by looking and forwarding on possible jobs – assuming he’ll apply if he’s interested, that is. (Then talk to him about why he likes/dislikes the job so you can refine your searches.)