(Closed) Fiance going through some hard times. How to be supportive.

posted 8 years ago in Career
Post # 3
619 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Your Fiance sounds a lot like my Darling Husband.  He worked at the same low-paying restaurant job while putting himself through undergrad and grad school for 10 years.  After he graduated it took him 9 months to find a job in his field.  His current job is great for getting experience but it doesn’t pay much and it’s not even full time.  He still works at the restaurant a day or two a week and not a week goes by that he doesn’t say he regrets going to grad school.

I’m underemployed myself.  I think it’s going to take your Fiance some time to come to terms with the challenges that lie ahead.  Our generation was raised with the belief that as long as I went to college and worked hard, we would be successful.  That may have been true for our parents generation, but the world is different now.  I can’t tell you how many college educated people I know who aren’t able to find work in their chosen field.  

If his current job isn’t providing what he needs and he can’t find full time work, then it might be time to move on to another “just for now” job or add a 2nd part time job.  Any job that provides for your needs and helps pay the bills is better than what a lot of people have right now.  

Can he collect unemployment to fill in the gaps where his hours were cut?  Just try to have patience with him, but don’t let him make too many excuses.  Best of luck to the both of you.

Post # 5
1277 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

has he tried paralegal or legal assistant jobs to see if he can work in the law field….??


Post # 6
3460 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

If he wants to be repaid, he needs to ask for it.  If he wants to disengage from toxic relationships, I would advise against asking for it.

Why does he think he can’t go to law school?  One of my good friends at law school was 40+ so age is definitely not a bar (particularly if you go part-time, more people will be older I think).

I would suggest he look beyond just his alma mater’s career site for jobs.  You have to look everywhere.  This is where you can help him a lot, by looking and forwarding on possible jobs – assuming he’ll apply if he’s interested, that is.  (Then talk to him about why he likes/dislikes the job so you can refine your searches.)

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