Fiancé got invited to a wedding. I was not.

posted 2 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
757 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

pauline93 :  rude! You are a social unit and should be invited together. If your Fiance is ok with not going, I would let him decline the invite. 

Post # 3
Member
738 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

You guys are a package deal – you’re a social unit and you can’t invite one without the other (unless you are practising poor etiquette). Unfortunately, pointing out how rude they are being is also poor etiquette.

As your fi has offered to decline, I’d take him up on it. Why should he spend his time and money celebrating their relationship when they’ve disrespected yours?

Post # 5
Member
757 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

pauline93 :  sadly some ppls have no class or manner. Sigh ;(

Post # 6
Member
574 posts
Busy bee

Not at all selfish, he’s offered not to go as he’s supporting you! It’s the right decision. 

The couple have let themselves down 

Post # 7
Member
89 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

It’s understandable that not all hosts can invite +1s. However, a long-term SO is not a +1. Your fiance’s friends are totally breaching etiquette and I think it’s insulting they are excluding you. If your SO decides not to go to the wedding, you should support him for standing up for you.

Post # 8
Member
1182 posts
Bumble bee

Poor form on their part. I would let your Fiance decide what he wants to do, don’t invite them to your wedding though! xo

Post # 9
Member
160 posts
Blushing bee

You’re not a “plus one,” you’re half a social unit. Your Fiance shouldn’t go to a party honoring love and commitment that declines to acknowledge HIS love and commitment. Screw ’em. Decline and don’t send a gift.

Post # 10
Member
6991 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

That would be a big nope, and my Darling Husband would not have been going.

We actually had this happen to us. Darling Husband and I had gotten married after we’d been together 12 years, and had owned our home for 4 years already, so when this went down it wasn’t a casual relationship. A friend of his got engaged a couple of years before we did, and when invites came it was only addressed to Darling Husband (then BF). Now I get the whole “married or engaged couples thing” (I don’t agree with it, I gave everyone a +1 regardless of their relationships status) but we had been together 10 years. This particular friend had even stayed in our {jointly owned} home. Needless to say, Darling Husband declined the invite.

Post # 11
Member
2017 posts
Buzzing bee

I don’t think it’s thaaaaat big of a deal. It’s rude and against etiquette, but if he wants to do I would let him. I’d assume not inviting you has to do with budget or venue space constrictions and not a personal vendetta. Maybe the venue only holds $250, so they couldn’t extend invites to all  significant others (unless married). It’s rude, but it’s not the end of the world. 

If it’s a good friend of his and he wants to go, I wouldn’t be mad about it. 

Post # 12
Member
1703 posts
Bumble bee

pauline93 :  

The “friend” and his fiancee are totally rude – I guess it is up to your fiance, but I hope he decides not to go. I don’t think you are unreasonable at all to be put off – even if it was a small intimate wedding, you ARE a package deal – both or neither.

Btw – you plan your wedding around your guest list – not around a venue or a “dream”

Post # 13
Member
252 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I don’t think you should feel bad at all. I think it was incredibly rude of them to not invite you as well and I am glad your Fiance is declining. 

Post # 14
Member
32 posts
Newbee

Thats Crap! So rude you are engaged. And even if you had just been together as boyfriend and girlfriend and been dating awhile it’s a done deal. 

RUDE!

Post # 15
Member
4840 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

pauline93 :  You are engaged and should have been invited together.  That is so rude of the bride to be.    If I were in your shoes I’d let your Fiance decline.   I wonder how many other guests were treated as badly?  

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