Fiancé got invited to a wedding. I was not.

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 76
Member
1170 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

My Darling Husband would never attend a wedding without me.  I would agree with your fiance’s decision to decline.   I would also be the bigger person and let your fiance decide whether or not to invite them to your wedding.

Post # 77
Member
193 posts
Blushing bee

Apologies if someone said this already and I missed it, but is it possible that the groom is responsible for your fiancé not having a guest? For instance, I had to explain to my groom that you have to invite married couples together. He was sincerely shocked by this and he’s a pretty savvy guy. I could see a situation where the groom marked your Fiancé down as a party of 1, didn’t tell the bride (who probably would have caught this), and now that RSVPs are coming in, any extra seats are going to family etc.?

Post # 78
Member
302 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

Definitely do not go to that! If you are engaged your fiance is not going to a wedding without you, that is absurd. DECLINE FOR SURE!

Post # 79
Member
38 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2018

You are engaged and should have been invited. If it were me, I’d let Fiance RSVP no.I was once Maid/Matron of Honor at a massive fancy expensive out of town wedding. They didn’t invite my then boyfriend of almost 2 years (who proposed to me the following year and we are getting married next year). And it was my boyfriend’s birthday that weekend, so I couldn’t spend his birthday with him since I was attending the wedding solo. We are no longer friends and that couple is not invited to our wedding…

Post # 80
Member
1066 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

I would never go to wedidng if Fiance wasn’t invited. We are have a 120 guest wedding on a budget and I had to cut guests I really wanted to invite to make sure all couples who are established got plus ones. That’s just what you do. I can’t imagine inviting someone and not their live in SO or Fiance or long term Boyfriend or Best Friend. 

Post # 81
Member
3050 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

I would agree that you both are a social unit and should have been considered such. So, yes, it was rude of them. Basically they want him to come celebrate their union but are not respecting his own.

I would let your partner make his decision and it sounds like he has. If he chose to decline then that’s his choice which is sensible. I wouldn’t personally ask him not to attend if the friend was important and he said he was conflicted on it though. My husband has declined formal events before that I wasn’t invited to and I would do the same as that’s just how we are.

Your partner could still send a card of congrats/gift signed from you both if he ends up not attending but still hopes to have a relationship with the groom.

Post # 82
Member
527 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

Short engagement aside – a partner of 5+ years is no less valid than an engaged couple or a married couple. Marriage isn’t the holy grail of commitment and it does not fling your relationship into gold-tier status.

The couple was rude to not include you, and I wouldn’t bother pushing your SO to attend.

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