(Closed) Fiancé got tattoo WITHOUT TELLING ME!!

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
873 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I’d be pissed too. I already told Fi that I must approve of any new tattoo he gets. Afterall, I’d see it more than he does.

Post # 4
Member
399 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I would be shocked too, really shocked. Where and what did he have done?

At the end of the day he has the right to make his own choices, though it’s unfortunate that he didn’t include you in this choice. Maybe he was worried you would stop him from doing it or maybe there are other circumstances surrounding his choice that your not yet aware of. I’m sure it will all be ok and when you see him in a few months you’ll be too happy to see him to really care.

Post # 5
Member
40 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@Aliz:  My fiancé does the same sort of thing … She just does not think .. She has a tattoo of her sons full name which includes her ex husbands surname ~ I hate it and she knows but it is her body and her-choice ….. She got this done after we where together 

Your fiancé is his own personyou personally would voice my feeling then let it go 

Post # 6
Member
4054 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

I would be so pissed about this. The only explanation I can offer is that he doesn’t see getting a tattoo in the same way that you and I do.  I’m sure he wasn’t trying to go behind your back, just didn’t think it was that much of a big deal. Hugs.

Post # 7
Member
10367 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

I don’t understand why you get ownership over what ink he puts on his body? It’s his body, not yours.

I do understand being upset over a cancer-causing addictive habit. That effects you. But a tattoo on his body does not effect you.

Post # 8
Hostess
7561 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

@crayfish:  I don’t think she wants approval, but just to be involved in such a big decision.

It sounds like he may be going through something. Do you think he feels like he doesn’t get to make any choices while you’re wedding planning? To me this tattoo seems like a statement to say he has control over something. 

Post # 9
Member
585 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I mean i get why you would be a little upset but it is HIS body and it doesn’t effect you. that is prob what he is thinking. don’t be too dramatic about it or it will freak him out b/c it might seem as if you are trying to control him even if thats not ur intention. but honestly its a tattoo on HIS body. not urs. therefor thats a personal decision by him. 

Post # 10
Member
91 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

you not seeing him in 6 months is this due to him being in the military? if so then it could be a “group” tattoo ? 

I’m not sure I would be upset maybe a bit more surprised that he didn’t think that was a major thing and something I would like to know about – unless of course it was on his forehead Tongue Out – but don’t think you should be mad or worried that you don’t know him – it could have been a pure spur of the moment – thats how I got my first tattoo , just went to a shop with some friends and then decided it would be fun 

 

Post # 12
Member
585 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@Aliz:  just tell him ur not mad about him getting the tattoo just that he didn’t ever mention it to you. im sure he will understand 

Post # 13
Member
363 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I don’t really see the problem sorry. It’s his body. He probably didnt think he needed to ask permission or consult you about it. Getting married doesn’t mean you give up your individual self. That’s just my opinion.

Post # 14
Member
449 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

My boyfriend and I are tattoo people and although I understand your issues with him not telling you…I can honestly say that if my bf did that, unless he were to get some random name, it wouldn’t be a big deal to me…yes, I’d be a little irritated, but I would be more concerned about him taking up a nasty habit like tobacco…but that’s just me 🙂 If it worries you that much tho, you may want to have a conversation with him to make sure everything is ok…

Post # 15
Member
7992 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

Hmmm… I got a new tattoo recently after being apart from Fiance for months. I did it because he hates tattoos and I knew that if I got one whilst I was away and he was missing me, he would have time to cool down and would be more likely to forgive me faster!

Easier to ask for forgiveness than permission. But I agree with the others… his body…

Maybe he did it this way because he knew you would be cross?

Post # 16
Member
84 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

i just got a tattoo and didnt tell my fiance… when i got home i was like look! and he was fine with it.. its my body… he doesnt mind tattoos and he knows i like them… and as long as i dont get anything offensive or ridiculous its not a big deal and shouldnt be… to me its kinda like if i bought a soda or a new t shirt… i dont ask his permission or discuss it before hand… i mean i understand that its permanent but its expression and creativity…

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