- 2 years ago
- Wedding: December 1969
So, to give a little backstory, fiance and I are both 24, we started dating in high school, we’ve been together 7 years. We both have decent jobs now, but I don’t have much in the way of savings. We both live with our parents, he has been paying them rent, I don’t pay my parents rent. We are planning a small wedding, we can afford to pay for everything ourselves. My parents wanted to have another wedding in India (I am Indian, fiance is not) and they are handling all the costs, decisions, everything relating to that (around 25k). My parents have offered multiple times to chip in for the American wedding (for lack of a better word), but I don’t want to ask them for help because they are doing the Indian wedding, which me and my fiance are very excited for. Both my parents and his parents are in equal financial standing.
Fiance asked his mom last night, out of the blue, while I was present “Did you guys want to help with the wedding? People said the groom’s parents pay for it. It’s totally fine if you say no”
I was kinda stunned and didn’t really respond, his mom said “Where did you hear that? The groom’s family pays for the rehearsal dinner. You can ask your dad though” (his parents are married, his dad is just a bit more frugal)
Now I’m afraid that that whole exchange sounded like I put him up to it and that I was the one who told him the groom’s family pays for the wedding. I asked him later and apparently he had heard that from a coworker or something? Either way I am super embarrassed and feel like that was super rude. How do I fix this without making it more awkward? I want to make it clear I don’t expect any financial help from them, only if they would like to help.
As an aside, I have always been a bit irritated at how differently his family treat him and his brother compared to their sister. She lives at home takes up 75% of the house, has 2 kids, doesn’t pay rent, she’s 30, she’s a nurse, so she can definitely afford to. She’s insanely disrespectful to them. Not to mention his parents have paid off her credit card debt (several thousands) TWO times. And yet, him and his brother are expected to pay rent. Fiance literally has a concrete floor in his bedroom because the carpet never got fixed. And it’s like I don’t mind them not helping with wedding stuff, but the unfairness drives me crazy, because I know they will pay every cent for their daughter’s wedding. I realize I sound like an entitled b*tch, but I have struggled with dealing with his sister for years. It has gotten worse lately because she will criticize everything about wedding planning, and she owes fiance around 2k that we never expect back, but then she will make remarks about how “I’d never choose a cheap photographer, I’m gonna get a really nice one for my wedding” when we are trying to make the best of a smaller budget, because we don’t feel the need to spend so much on one night. I am rambling, I apologize.