Post # 16
I actually think you need to talk to an attorney, not a financial advisor. That way you can get it all in writing and documented correctly.
Honestly, with the ira I think you are getting the better part of the deal. Non taxable retirement income. When you sell your home, the profit is subject to capital gains tax.
Post # 17
I agree you need a third party financial advisor to look over the numbers with you.
What DH and I did in your situation was we got a prenup that says that I own X% of the house (where X is the percent down payment that is coming from my savings) and then the rest we split 50/50. The prenup basically just clarifies that my down-payment is not a gift to our common pool property.
If you or your financial advisor and attorney decide his plan is a bad deal (either because it’s not a fair trade monetarily or because your lawyer thinks it’d be hard to enforce) you may want to consider the above.