Fiancé has been cheating with escorts!

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 61
1259 posts
Bumble bee

collette1505 :  

I refuse to be with anybody who doesn’t want just me.

If I were you, regardless of the children I would leave.

Post # 62
1171 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2021 - City, State

Hi fellow Scottish bee. Seems you’ve made the right decision here, nothing else to add

Post # 63
5087 posts
Bee Keeper

I left my ex husband upon discovering his involvement with an escort service.  Children or not I would not stay in a marriage that lacks trust and respect to that extent.  Please go get tested for STD’s and follow up again in six months as it can take time for certain STD’s to manifest.

ETA: Please don’t feel embarrassed.  This isn’t about what you did or did not do.  This is HIS problem and in consequence he will very well likely lose his family.

Post # 68
5087 posts
Bee Keeper

collette1505 :  Everyone will gossip but you know the truth.  Be strong Bee!

Post # 69
767 posts
Busy bee

collette1505 :  I”m sorry this happened. Life gets messy and complicated. Either way, sounds like you’re taking care of yourself and making sure you are healthy. I hope it works out for everyone.

Post # 70
1 posts

At the very least, call off the wedding.

Secondly, make sure you and your children are protected financially if you WERE to leave… hopefully at this point it’s a commonlaw marriage or something of the sorts.

Third… definitely get tested.

Last…  I’m not saying this can’t work, but it would take a lot of counciling.  He has to learn how to STOP (and it may not as long as he’s travelling for work), and you will have to learn how to move on.  You won’t forgive, and you definitely won’t forget, but you’ll need to continue living.  

I really do wish you the best of luck.  If you didn’t have children, I would tell you to leave immediately.  But in your case, you need to make sure they (and  you) are taken care of.

Post # 71
1331 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

collette1505 :  Gossip is unavoidable but you will find that people are more supportive than you may think. Your fears about people speaking poorly of you are completely wrong, nobody will be thinking his shocking betrayal is a reflection on how happy you were keeping him! 

I personally know someone who went through a similar situation. Except in her case, she found out when a mistress showed up at their home with a child in tow, claiming the child was her husband’s son! Not even kidding you, true life story. Turned out to be his son, and he’d not only been cheating with the mistress but also with escorts, he traveled frequently for work and met up with hookers all the time. When the story came out it was big news in the social circle, obviously. Nobody, not a single soul, said anything about that woman except to discuss what a shitbag she had married. She is now happily divorced. 

Good luck to you. As for your kids, I was also a child of divorced parents and I firmly believe that divorce can be a wonderful thing for kids, I’m so grateful that my parents didn’t stay married!

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