(Closed) HELP! Fiance hates Facebook!! Wants me to erase profile

posted 7 years ago in Technology
Post # 3
Member
1211 posts
Bumble bee

You coulkd always tell him to just shut up and to not try to dictacte how you comunicate with your long distance friends and family. Compromise on the future baby photos. Compromise and set your profile to “Friends only”, make it nice and secure. And that’s it. Deleting your entire profile to ease his paranoia is ludacris. But you can compromise and make your profile nice and private.

Post # 4
Member
3482 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

Okay well first off, tell him why being on Facebook is important to you (keeping in touch with relatives, etc.) and explain to him that deleting your profile is not up for discussion.

Regarding the photos, can your friend put them in a private password-protected album on a photo sharing site instead of Facebook? You can share the link and password with the people you want to see the photos, and that way “the world” won’t have easy access. I think this would be the best compromise.

Post # 5
Member
2496 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

@linguo42: Ditto.  Great advice.

The only tricky thing with pictures is that he is in them too.  So, honestly I would respect his wishes and not put them on FB, but share them privately with friends/family.  But I would keep my profile most definitely.

Post # 6
Member
1 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Giving up Facebook is not at all reasonable and your fiance should not expect that.  My fiance has the same issue against having kids’ pictures plastered all over Facebook.  Take advantage of the privacy settings available for photo sharing ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 8
Member
3482 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

@amw511s: Then I’d sit him down and have a good long discussion about why exactly he doesn’t want anyone to see them. I can understand the usual privacy issues and stuff, but he’s definitely overreacting if he’s saying you should deactivate your account completely. He needs to give you a good reason for why he’s so adamant about it. Does he not want specific people to have access to the photos, is he self-conscious, etc., etc.

I still think in this case you should put them on a site that has a password feature, but if you guys don’t figure all this stuff out now, it’ll be trouble later, guaranteed.

Post # 9
Member
2584 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

If it would be a compromise, you could ask that the photographer only use a couple photos for her portfolio but not make an entire album of them. It sounds like your profile is as secure as it gets so privacy really shouldn’t be an issue. You don’t even have to tag yourselves. I know people who don’t post pictures of their kids on facebook for privacy, though with such secure settings it shouldn’t matter- I posted some wedding dress photos from a shopping trip on FB but set it so only a few people could see. My Fiance and friends still don’t know, lol!

It seems that there’s probably an underlying issue, as PPs said. I don’t think deleting FB is reasonable so you need to discuss what he hates about it and what you can do to compromise.

Post # 10
Member
1370 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I don’t see what the difference is between your engagement pictures and other pictures he’s tagged in. I can see his point about your future children being on facebook, but if he has other pictures tagged his argument is not valid.

Post # 12
Member
2373 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

Increase your profile security so only friends and family can see your photos. If that doesn’t help the situation, he has a control problem

Post # 13
Member
139 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Fiance and I had a similar issue with this, although it was about me just posting daily stuff.. He said he didn’t want me posting anything that people would know about, etc bla bla bla.. So I stopped.. I think you guys should sit and talk about it, no arguing.. You have family that you want to keep in touch with, period.

Also, now with all the updates that facebook has, even if you do post pictures from engagement shoot, wedding, kids, etc, you can choose who can/can’t see it.. <– he won’t have ANYTHING to say in response lol.

Hmm, about the photographer posting your engagement pics, hmm.. maybe just explain to her the situation, and see if she can have it so only you’re able to view the pictures? idk..

 

Good luck!

Post # 14
Member
104 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

no offense but he sounds like a bit of a control freak to me .. if you make your profile private he shouldn’t have a problem ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 15
Member
425 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Lol I had to delete my myspace because an old ex contacted me to see how I was doing and my Fiance logged on and found out.. So I had to delete it- but I dont do the same with FB when he gets on and realizes an old friend wrote me and its completly innocent.  He knows why I have FB and mostly everone on my friends list are family, close friends or friends of my close friends- Just make sure to keep your page totally private.. I guess hes just worried about INTERNET usage all together probably. I just took an IT class and basically I was reminded something we all know— once its online, theres no such thing as deleting the content away, no matter how many times you ” delete it” from your page or whatever- As a man once said — its like removing pee from a pool.. ( Once its done, its done ) so  hes worried probably of your pictures, your kids, things that would represent your lives online. You have no idea how many people use other peoples pictures without thier consent– I guess its also an invasion of privacy which may seem normal to you if your Fiance is a private type of person.

 

 

Post # 16
Member
3539 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I would actually delete hubs from my profile page so he couldnt see what was going on.

I would say.. well since you dont like facebook, I deleted you so you dont have to see whats going on! ๐Ÿ™‚

That would change his attitude. Well I know for my hubs it would. ๐Ÿ™‚

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