Post # 1
Has anyone else had this happen??
We got an invitation to the wedding of one of my fiance’s friends from college. They live rather far away from us, so I’ve never met this friend or his fiance, but their wedding is being held closer to us (2 hours away), in the town where their college is. So my fiance wanted to go, just to see old college friends and all that.
Even though this friend knows we are engaged, the invitation was only addressed to my fiance. So I told him that it seemed they weren’t inviting me, since if they were they would have included my name or at least put “and guest”. He insisted that we should assume they were including me, but I told him to ask his friend to make sure.
He texted his friend, “Is it okay if I bring my fiance?” and his friend replied, “It would be best if you could come alone, we’re at capacity for our reception hall.” (!!!) So my fiance texted him back and said that he wasn’t going to go without me, and his friend said, “Okay, bring her along, we’ll try to make it work.”
I’m completely shocked that anyone would be THAT clueless to not realize how rude and inappropriate it is to invite someone but exclude their fiance (we’re getting married in less than 2 months!). I reeeally don’t even want to go to this wedding now, since I feel like no one wants me to be there. But my fiance really wants to go see his old friends. It’s going to be so hard for me to go there and put on my happy face. 🙁
Post # 3
i would feel weird about going now too. it’s inappropriate and even though you shouldn’t take it personal, i can understand why you would feel offended.
so if you are just getting this invite, is the wedding after yours?
Post # 4
Very inappropriate, indeed. Married and engaged couples are social units and must be invited to social events together. I’d decline any wedding invitation that didn’t include my husband.
Post # 5
I think it is completely inappropriate of them to not invite you with your FI. If you two were just dating long-term then I could kind of understand capacity issues (but still wouldn’t agree ith excluding someone’s long-term SO). Engaged and married couples are a package deal and if one is invited the other ought to be included.
Just go and try to have a good time! I’m sure your FI will enjoy getting to see his old friends and will be glad to have you by his side.
Post # 6
- Wedding: October 2010 - Ladder 15 Restaurant
I mean, I know from reading the ‘Bee that a lot of couples have issues in regards to over-capacity, but that’s inappropriate, I agree. They of all people should know that being engaged means that you’re a team, and an invitation to both of you is warranted.
Try to still go and have fun–it will be nice for your fi to catch up with old friends, so try to support him even though it is under awkward circumstances! Good luck!
Post # 7
Go and have a good time. No one will know the bride was rude and didn’t really invite you.
Post # 8
That sucks. Engagement = 2 invites.
They shouldn’t just invited him alone – that’s extremely rude. That “try to make it work” line is ridiculous. What if you only invited the groom to your all’s wedding? Wouldn’t they have a problem with that?? I count engaged couples the same as married couples.
Even if I was having a tiny wedding and one of my guests was engaged to someone I didn’t even know, they would STILL get a +1. Good for him for declining the invite without you.
Post # 9
haha you should invite just the guy to your wedding, not his wife. that would get the point across.
Post # 10
The +1 topic is usually divided among longterm couples, boyfriend/girlfriend, living together, etc. but engaged and married couples should have been a no brainer!
Post # 11
Meh, personally I think they are being extremely rude, but I would just let him go alone. If they don’t want me there anyway I would feel a little embarassed to go…like I was inviting myself or something.
Man oh man that couple needs a lesson in politeness though! Give them a small gift. 😉
Post # 12
My FI was recently invited to a wedding, and I too was excluded. He refused to go without me, and the couple refused to include me based on “space,” so my FI didn’t attend. I’m glad he stood up for me and made a point that it is completely inappropriate to only invited half of an engaged couple!
@Mrs. Meowerson: Haha! Good idea.
Post # 13
Oh my god, that would piss me off too! I would still probably go anyway, because, as someone already pointed out, no one will know you weren’t originally invited. You’ll get a chance to meet his old friends, and get a free dinner 🙂
I just can’t believe that someone wouldn’t give a plus one for their FIANCE. Geez.
Post # 14
That’s totally wrong! I would be upset too. Just go and support your FI and his friends and enjoy the free dinner, dancing and try to have fun. But you are totally right to feel slighted. I would too!
Post # 15
I am a vindictive person when I am mad. My reaction? i wouldn’t go to the wedding and then for YOUR wedding just invite the college friend and not his new wife. See how he likes his own “we’ll make it work” medicine. . . (I am mad for you!)
Post # 16
Very bad taste. If I were in your position, I wouldn’t be attending their wedding because they clealry didn’t want me there.