(Closed) Fiance invited to friend’s wedding without me?!

posted 10 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 18
Member
124 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Sorry this happened to you! I’ve been in your shoes before and it’s not a good feeling. I’m glad your Fiance held his ground though! My Fiance did the same and the bride and groom said I could come. Then, a month before the wedding, the bride called my Fiance to uninvite me! It was the most ridiculous, tactless thing ever. They are coming to our upcoming wedding and I am hoping they learn a lesson or two on etiquette 🙂

Post # 19
Member
2355 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

I’m glad you didn’t let that stop you from going. It seems liking seeing his old college friend means a lot to your Fiance.

And its a good thing he stood up for you too.

Post # 20
Member
1046 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

I think your fiance is right about this possibly being an etiquette disaster wedding–no invite and no stamp on the RSVP? Geez.

Go, and have a good time. I doubt they didn’t invite you because they didn’t want you there, but sometimes when people start trying to cut their numbers they go too far. Thankfully they at least corrected the issue.

Post # 21
Member
6659 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

I say: Go to the wedding, kill them with kindness and make the regret even considering not inviting you!!! Be the perfect guest and gush over and over how wonderful everything is and thank them for the invitation.

Trust me, after they’re married and wise they will be kicking themselves for the stupidity of ever considering not inviting you or at least sending that text.

Post # 22
Member
279 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@Blondeeee, sounds like they are rude to a lot more people than you if they couldn’t even meet their minimum. Karma, baby. Karma.

Post # 23
Member
22 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Go & put on your best game face if you must……. 

But I will say – i am having a horrible problem with the live-in girlfriends (one of whom is with child) of two of my huny’s good friends….  Both of my huny’s friends were in serious relationships when they met these women & both of the women are home wreckers.  I absolutely don’t want either of them at my wedding!!!!  I will send out an invite with the males name only & no mention of guest or +1.  And as I have read, I will avoid their call or text if they call to clarify, if they can’t TAKE A HINT that they’re not welcome- far be it from me to hit them over the head with it….  but it is MY day…. and if they are even batting an eyelash wrong I will ask them to leave or give them a piece of my mind if they should show up!!!

Post # 24
Member
383 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I agree, poor taste!  How does an engaged couple not know that while other types of couples may be controversial in whether they “should” both be invited, fiancees are ALWAYS included!  If my guest list was full to the point of bursting over the hall’s capacity, I’d look at the list and make some cuts, but I would never cut out someone’s fiancee.  That’s just tacky!

Post # 25
Member
573 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

Wow, I can’t believe they did that. Are they expecting that you’ll be breaking your engagement? That’s so incredibly rude.

I can see your point about not wanting to go now, but if your Fiance wants to see his friends, they’re probably expecting to see him and it might be weird if he didn’t go. The other guests won’t know about the issue (or shouldn’t), so it will likely be a great time for you guys. Go, and try to enjoy yourself!

Post # 26
Member
2680 posts
Sugar bee

Wow bad etiquette all around, first they dont invite you and you are engaged and then the dont put a stamp on the RSVP.  Id like to give them the benefit of the doubt and just assume they really dont know anything about etiquette and didnt know it was wrong not to invite you or that they should put stamps on the RSVP.  I never have stamps around either!  We bought some holiday ones for holiday cards last year and I still use them (when I can find them) so my rent is being mailed in June or July with a snoman on the stamp!

Post # 27
Member
1545 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I wouldnt go that seems rather rude!

I feel the same way about how the envelope comes addressed.

Post # 28
Member
156 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

This happened to us last year!  Fiance flew across the country for his friend’s bachelor ski trip; spending quite a bit of money for this trip, I might add.  While on the trip, he finds out that he’s getting an invite for their wedding without a “plus one.”  When he asked the friend why I wasn’t invited, the reply was, “I didn’t realize you were still with her.”  By The Way, we were living together (but not yet engaged).  I thought it was pretty rude, especially since space and money weren’t even the reason, it was the “I didn’t realize you were still with her” comment!!

Post # 29
Member
2600 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Whoa!  They didn’t put STAMPS on the RSVP?!  Holy crapola.

Now I’m really glad you’re going to the wedding because I can’t wait to hear what other pretty major faux pas they do!

I understand the +1 rule and that there are 2 sides… but just about everyone would include an engagedcouple as 2 invites, not one. 

And seriously… who doesn’t put stamps on the RSVP?!  I wonder how many they don’t get back.

Also.., I wonder if you put it in the mail without your return address and it gets to them if they have to pay postage due?  🙂

Post # 30
Member
544 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

I’m curious to know how the wedding was??

My best guess regarding postage leads back to the groom’s comment.  One way to alleviate the number of guests in a “tight space,”  not providing return postage on the RSVP.  Just a thought, but not the most appropriate way of dealing with a large guest list and limited funds.  And I too, would have been peeved in this predicament.

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