(Closed) Fiance is a Gamer…

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
30 posts


I just wanted to chip in as I also live with a gamer! He loves getting on the PS3 and spending hours shooting people etc. Now the only reason that I do not have a problem with this is because he only does it when we agree to have some ‘chill time’ he will only play when he is sure that there are no chores, or anything I want to do together. He also will always stop by about 9pm so we have a couple of hours a night to chat before bed. We both work 9-5 and have stressful jobs ad need to relax. For instance last night I watched the Olympics for a few hours whilst he gamed in the bedroom (we have a really big bedroom with a lounge type area in there).

The only advice I could give is perhaps find something you both enjoy away from gaming. Perhaps take a walk, or a class, or find a tv series you could both curl up and watch (we recently did so with Homeland). This way he can still achieve his escapism but share it with you?

One of my friends has the two-tv set up and it does look pretty terrible. Also having the noise from the two is awful! I say find something you both love ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 4
1481 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

While reading your post, my initial response was to get another TV haha. Which I see your fiance has already mentioned…Do you have another room to put the extra TV in so it doesn’t offend your designer sensibilities? (not judging whatsoever, I feel the same way) And to be fair, when you’re reading, your book doesn’t have more than one use, unless you have a kindle/nook/ipad/etc so that’s not exactly a good comparison (if you want to use that in a future TV time discussion lol)

Post # 5
72 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Parkwood International Golf Course

My husband and I have the same kind of thing.  He games, ie plays World of Warcraft and I play around on my laptop or read.  Every couple of nights we try to have an off night where we watch TV or Movies together.  Still I understand where you are coming from.  Sometimes his gaming seems to take precedence over other things which can be frustrating.  We make it work by having open communication.  If I am getting frustrated with him gaming too much I tell him.  Not in a bitchy way ๐Ÿ˜› Just a friendly reminder I guess.  And if he thinks I’ve been spending too much time on my laptop it’s the same thing.

I don’t know if that helps but know you are not alone in this ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 6
1716 posts
Bumble bee

I love a gamer too!!

Once apon a time, I was neither a cosplayer, a gamer, an anime nerd or anything else like that. Now….well…I am.

Our compromise has been playing Wii and DDR (dance dance revolution), mario cart, or any game we can play together at the same time. And if I’m feeling anti social (not as often as I once did) I stay in our bedroom and watch netflix or whatever. We have a movie night together once a week (for him, he likes his movies). We go to a local watering hole once a week (thats for me, I people watch). Now he will go to one concert for every anime convention I go to.

We’ve worked it out pretty well…and who knows, you may just have fun too! =)

Good luck!

Post # 7
872 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

My Fiance is also a gamer! I am too but not at the level he is. 

He is insistant that we have a T.V in our bedroom and it drives me nuts! However, I have agreed to have a T.V in our bedroom despite the fact it ruins my Feng Shui. I have made this compromise with him because I can “suck it up” and know it is not that  big of a deal for me personally. 

For you though, I am going to say I have to agree with you. It would really bother me if his compromise was to have two T.Vs in the living room. I think he should bend in his wants and do what is best for the both of you. He needs to understand that sometimes sacrifices need to be made instead of splitting you two apart. 

I would suggest that he gives up an hour or so in his gaming. I understand that he is a good man and makes you happy! There are respectful, responsible gamers out there, it’s just hard for them sometimes to make these kind of decisions when it comes to their games, they need to realize they are just games in the end. There is a “save” point!

Post # 8
1766 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I agree that you guys need two TVs, but certainly not in the same room! 

Two words: Man cave.

Darling Husband has his Playstation in his man cave, along with his PC.  When he plays, I have the rest of the house to myself and can watch TV, read, or be on my laptop undisturbed. We have a very happy marriage.

Post # 9
2906 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Can you buy an iPad? Our cable provider has an app that lets you watch live tv on the iPad as long as you’re within your own wireless network, so if I want to watch Bridezillas while he plays video games, I just snuggle up next to him on the couch with the iPad!

Post # 10
2183 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011 - Florida Aquarium

My husband enjoys video games, but we have rules to maintain my sanity. We’ve been together for 7 years. I’ve always known he liked video games, and that was okay with me. As you said, there are far worse ways to decompress. However, a few years ago, Darling Husband (BF, then) got into WOW. He raided two-three times a week for about 3-4 hours at a time. This was during “our” time. I wanted to kill him. Finally, I got resentful that, while I didn’t give hime an ultimatum, I did. Me or the game, because it was ridiculous. He chose me, and quit WOW. Years later, we have a routine… we both work around 8-5, so when we get home, I start dinner and he plays a game for the hour it takes me to cook. I give him a five minute warning, and he finds a save point. Now, for games like Dark Souls, I understand save points are rare, so we work around it and extend his playing time. On weekends, sure, I can read a book while he plays for an hour our two, but that’s the extent of his playing because that is us time. We go out and do stuff, or we stay in and watch movies… regardless, the Xbox is not welcome during us time. He totally understands when I’ve had enough, and we go and do something.

A few hours a day, after you get home from work while he’s been home all day is far too much, in my opinion. You can present the logical statement that you want to spend quality time with him, and that does not mean watching him play a video game. You also deserve your time to watch TV. 

The two TV idea really isn’t a bad one, though. You “stack” them on the wall. My issue is, though, then he’s got headphones on and you’re still not “together.”

You need to work together to find what works for you as a couple, and compromise is key. On days when he works, sure, let him play for a few hours. But on days when he’s home, he can play while you’re not there.

Post # 11
8379 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

My Fiance is a gamer also. What we do is set a certain schedule. He plays FFXI which is very involved and you can’t just “pause” the game, or just walk away from the keyboard at any time. So Wednesday, Saturday, and sometimes Sunday evenings he plays his game in the evening and I try not to interrupt too much. The other nights, we watch our shows together, or a movie on netflix, cook dinner, etc. If I feel like being on my computer and doing pinterest all night, sometimes he’ll jump on his game and goof around. But if he’s home all day I think it’s pretty fair that you should get some TV time (or him time!) when you get home from work. Maybe you could set a certain time that is “no-game” hours or something?

Post # 12
94 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

my fiance is a gamer as well.. early on in our relationship we actually designated our “alone” time.. he recently lost his job so now he just games when i’m at work all day.. but typically he spends tuesday nights and thursday nights after dinner gaming.. that way there is no argument, its a complete compromise, and its never disappointing when he wants to game bc i’m already prepared for it.

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