(Closed) Fiance is acting so cold

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
2295 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Have you considered pre-marital counseling? I recommend it to everyone, but especially when there are communication breakdowns. Counseling does not mean that your relationship is in trouble, just that you want to avoid trouble!! 

Post # 4
Member
2523 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

When did he start acting this way? Recently? Has he been stressed at work? I find this very odd. :S

Post # 5
Member
5428 posts
Bee Keeper

I suggest you demand what he is talking about. In a very calm demanding way. It sounds like he heard something “ backhanded comments about respect and promises” maybe a rumour is going around? I would definitely have him explain what he means by that.

Post # 6
Member
1460 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

You all need to sit down and have a discussion.  I despise the silent treatent and it’s not effective or healthy at all.  I can say it because I can have the tendency to do it as can my Darling Husband.  From the start of our dating relationship I’ve forced both of us to be open and talk it out.  It’s difficult sometimes but it’s worth it.  I saw my parents give one another the silent treatment for days on end….it’s crazy.

Post # 7
Member
986 posts
Busy bee

Communication. The silent treatment isn’t giong to fix anything.

Post # 8
Member
2385 posts
Buzzing bee

if he’s making backhanded comments about respect, perhaps he’s giving you the silent treatment because you’ve upset him and he wants you to apologize. Can you think of anything you’ve done recently that might have upset him?

 

ETA I agree. The silent treatment isn’t gong to fix anything, though. 

Post # 9
Member
5984 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1999

Sorry you’re going through this.  If he won’t tell you what’s going on verbally, I’d ask him to write you a note and you could write him a note as well.  Read the notes separately, take time to process, then sit down together and restate to one another what you understood from your notes.  Just listen and ask questions without being judgy or overly emotional.  (BTW, this is something I just learned in marital counseling, as my Darling Husband and I are having major problems).  Good luck!  

Post # 11
Member
1586 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@sherryberry:  So glad to hear that you guys were able to work through this.Remember, communication is the most important part of ANY relationship. You can complain and discuss things with other people until you are blue in the face, but unless you two talk to each other, he might not even know something is wrong.

Post # 12
Member
2523 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

@sherryberry:  I can understand how sometimes teasing can go unnoticed. My first serious relationship was very unbalanced because I’m very sarcastic and I tend to playfully tease the people I love because that’s how my family is. Unbeknownst to me, it was really hurting my boyfriend at the time. Sometimes I still have to watch how I say things because it’s such habit.

I’m really glad everything got worked out and you are going on a mini-vacation to spend some time reconnecting. 🙂

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