(Closed) Fiance is completely scatterbrained and forgets to pay bills!!

posted 7 years ago in Money
Post # 3
9632 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Can he just set it up to auto-deduct?

Post # 4
2564 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

Mine missed a couple of phone payments and has since set up auto pay.  Just so  much easier.

Post # 5
4495 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@Westwood:  +1 This would be easiest I think. My car payment was automatic so I never had to worry about it. You can do that for most bills.

Post # 6
3 posts

@rumpunch712:  I had this problem when we merged our bank accounts as well. I set up everything as recurring direct debits from our checking account which saves a ton a time. I am an organization freak, so I know the exact date that all of our payments come out. Do you have the option to set up automatic withdrawals? It’ll save you a lot of time minus the headache of missed payments.

Post # 7
9823 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

My fiance is completely scattered too.  I pay all of our bills (rent, electricity, water, etc).  I’m pretty over-organized though so I like to keep track of everything.  It works for us best when I pay everything and keep track of our budgets.  He does pay his phone bill so I guess he manages that.


Post # 8
1607 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@rumpunch712:  be REALLY careful with this, as it can effect your credit as well. If your SSN is tied to his in any way, you can end up having an (incorrect) terrible credit score. Speaking from experience, it takes months and hours of time to correct this.

Post # 9
748 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I just do all the bills. My FH is a scatter brain too. What bills he does have to pay himself are set to auto-pay.

Post # 10
1326 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

How about you just pay all the bills? It sounds like it would be a lot less of a headache. My Fiance pays our bills because it’s his thing. He likes it. I hate doing it and I also forget. So that works for us.

Give him another responsibility that he’s good at!

Post # 11
882 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

My Fiance is the same way, that’s why I am in charge of all household bills.  I am lucky because he knows he is terrible at it and relinquishes the control easily because of that.  I would get a strong handle on that before you get married and it starts dinging your credit.


If you have merged accounts, you are obviously sharing the income so why not just have you responsible for all the bills?  Makes sense to me.


Post # 12
9129 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

I second either auto-deduct, or just passing control over to you if you’re better at this. No shame in that.

You wanna hear something really bad?  My Fiance didn’t pay our storage unit bill for a few months (partly a problem with their system of auto-pay), didn’t follow up in time to deal properly, and they SOLD ALL OUR STUFF.  It wasn’t a ton of valuables, but definitely things I would have preferred to keep!  Including old photos, collectibles from trips to South America, our coffee table, lots of books, a fly-rod that was my grandpa’s, etc.

But, he feels so so awful.  So I’m not mentioning it and just moving on.  And he’d do the same for me….


Post # 14
7199 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

@rumpunch712:  Yeah, you either have to get him set up for auto-pay or take it over yourself. This was a HUGE issue for my parents. For decades, mom tried to get Dad to pay some of the bills and inevitably, whatever utility he was responsible for would get shut off regularly! For a year after she died, I ended up paying all the bills myself (I was living with him). 

Post # 15
2188 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2024

Set up auto-pay or you just pay all the bills. Yes he is an adult and should remember these things but some people just forget things like this. If he doesn’t want you to pay his bills for him then set reminders on his phone 7 days before the bill is due, then set up a back up reminder 4 days before it’s due. He can’t forget (hopefully) if he has multiple reminders leading up to the due date. Oh and make it for a time he is home and can write checks/pay it online, not at like 6 am when he’s probably sleeping.

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