(Closed) Fiance is Facebook stalking his exes. Should I be worried?

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 46
2185 posts
Buzzing bee

I will look up friends from high school/college, but I usually send a friend request along with looking at their page. I have not FB stalked any exes though I do understand some of the reasons the bees have posted here. 

That being said, I think this is more about you than him. You have admitted to having issues and that the behavior you are engaging in just exacerbates those issues, or brings truth to your fears as you put it. I think you need to work on that while you husband works on his issues. 

If this is the only issue in your relationship, and he is totally committed to you, then I think you are creating drama and setting yourself up to be hurt. Why are you looking at his history? Why do you care what he does online or who he looks at on FB? Has he given you reason not to trust him? 

I really don’t think what he has done is an issue at all. It actually sounds like he is working on improving himself and you should take a page from him and do the same thing. Sorry if that’s harsh, In My Humble Opinion. 

Post # 47
99 posts
Worker bee

If he’s doing it like once or twice a month, I wouldn’t worry about it. I actually do it too, not because I’m *yearning* for what could have been, but because I’m thinking about what could have been… if I hadn’t made the smart decision to get out. It’s about wondering about the past and curiosity of what they’re up to in general, but there’s still no way in hell I would ever pick any of them over my husband. Does that make sense?

Also, I’d stop looking at his history. I’d freak out if I knew my husband was checking out my activity.


Post # 48
70 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: Beach

Not going to lie, your fiance sounds a lot like me. 

I have been in a lot of up and down relationships, including a lot of guys who cheated. When I started dating my fiance, I went back and forth on whether to stay with him (I started ending a lot of relationships before I could be cheated on). But there was something that just kept me with him. I did have a lot of times where I would facebook stalk exes or question our relationship (mostly during said depressive issues).

For me it was never a question of whether I would get back with those issues, but for some reason when I was depressed, I would always start thinking about the past, and the things I have been through. One book that really helped me to see that it was part of my depression was a book called “When Depression Hurts your Relationship”. This book was EXTREMELY eye opening for me and I am hoping to have my hubby read it at some point, as I think it gives him better perspective of what I deal with and where I am coming from, when neither he or I understand myself sometimes.

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