(Closed) Fiance is financially irresponsible

posted 6 years ago in Money
Post # 3
Member
9718 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

Mouth hanging open at “he spent $2,000 on chipotle.”  Surprised

Post # 4
Member
981 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Is he making the payments on the stuff he charges or expecting you to pay it?

Post # 5
Member
13070 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Well, first, if you keep opening cards and cancelling them, you’re going to tank your own credit score.  It looks really bad to do that.

Second, did you discuss ground rules about using the card?  Did you ever talk about doing online billpay? 

I’d have an open and honest conversation with him.  If that doesn’t work, maybe going to see a financial planner/counselor may be worthwhile so he can see what really happens with this stuf.f  Or the obvious answer, stop getting joint credit cards.

Post # 6
Member
2539 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

@Sunfire:  +1

OP you all need sit down and talk… ASAP! Money is the #1 reason couples divorce and if you dont voice your problems with his spending asap then it will only get worse.

Post # 7
Member
10574 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2011

@2strapscool:  I’m not really seeing the issue, other than the $2000 on chipolte.  Darling Husband and I get cash back on our credit card.  We use it for almost everything, it’s like getting a (small) discount on everything we buy.

If you have to pay a bill anyone, I don’t see the issue with using a credit card to do so.  There’s also the added security of paying with the card.  As long as it is being paid off fully, no problem.

If it really bothers you, maybe you should have separate cards and your fiance can collect his own points.

Post # 8
Member
13070 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Sunfire:  I had the same thought.  How does one possibly spend $2,000 at chipotle? 

Post # 10
Member
5786 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2011

Wait, is he paying for whatever he charges or is he just charging this stuff and you take care of the bills? I don’t see anything wrong with paying bills with a credit card as long as you pay the balance right away, its a great way to rack up points/miles.

Post # 11
Member
10574 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2011

@2strapscool:  What’s your issue with the automatic bill payments?  Here some companies REQUIRE that.

Post # 12
Member
235 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

How does one spend $2000 at Chipotle?  Is the burrito wrapped in gold or something?

 

In all seriousness, my ex was incredibly irresponsible with his money, and that’s one of the many reasons he was my ex.  Not only would he charge everything to credit cards (that had to be taken out in MY name because he had awful credit), but he NEVER paid his bills on time.  Ever.  I had to be in charge of all the money or things just didn’t get paid, and my perfect credit took a sizeable hit, all thanks to my lovely ex husband.  Money can be a HUGE form of contention between couples so you need to nip this in the bud NOW.  Can’t you set the credit card so you are the ONLY authorized user, and write “See ID” on the back instead of a signature?

You also need to have a serious, serious conversation with him.  If he can’t be responsible for his money now, how is it going to be when you have a mortgage?  Children?  Is this something you think you can live with for the rest of your life?

Post # 14
Member
1352 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@Sunfire:  UMMMMMMM YES… I have no words.Surprised

Post # 15
Member
2863 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

This makes no sense. I don’t get how it is your place to tell him he can’t use his credit card to pay his bills and then pay off the credit card in full. Unless he ISN’T paying it in full each month what is the problem here? 

Post # 16
Member
13070 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@2strapscool:  Oh, when you said “I called and cancelled” I took that as cancelling the account.  If you’re not closing the account, I don’t think it hurts.  You may want to check with them and make sure though, because you don’t want this mess to affect you with FICO and stuff!  I think it’s a smart call to take him off the card though, at least until you figure out some common ground and what he should and shouldn’t be using the card for.

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