(Closed) Fiance is financially irresponsible

posted 8 years ago in Money
Post # 32
Member
10635 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2011

I was wondering what you meant by chipotle.  I forget it’s a fast food place in the US.  Haha at first I thought you just meant the pepper itself.

Did you actually discuss how it would be paid?  You’re saying he’s paying off $100 of the $200.  Maybe he was just splitting it 50/50 (or maybe he is irresponsible).  DH and I have a joint account and a joint card.  It was his primary card that we upgraded and made joint, and we decided it was simplier for him to be the one to pay it off, as it takes a few days for that to show up online so we don’t want to pay it off twice by accident.

I get that you’re emotional, but we’re not getting the full story here because of it.

Post # 33
Member
700 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2004

I don’t really think you’re overreacting. If my husband put all kinds of crap on a credit card and didn’t tell me, I’d be really pissed. I think the fact alone that he signed up for all kinds of bills to be payed on it and didn’t mention it to you is really messed up. Maybe if you guys had discussed it and deemed it to be a good idea to earn points or whatever, that would be one thing. But he didn’t even tell you, you found out on your own. That would be super annoying. I also think that it’s financially irresponsible to use your credit card all the time and not pay it off completely.

Also, seriously, what is up with the $2000 at chipotle? did he buy stocks or something??

Post # 34
Member
3538 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

we use our credit card for everything, even if we have the money as we accumulate points.. But I would usually go home and pay it off straight away…

To me it would be a big problem if it was over $500.00

Post # 35
Member
191 posts
Blushing bee

I’d be incredibly pissed too. I can’t believe so many people don’t find this to be a problem. You need to have a talk with him and not put him on any of your credit cards in the future. His spending habits and lack of control can lead to lots of problems down the road.

Post # 36
Member
1064 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Spending an average of $67 on chipotle a day is excessive. Taking the card away from him, canceling it, then getting a new one and giving it to him is not going to stop the spending. You need to sit him down and tell him to cut the crap. How is he paying his bills on time if he now can’t through the credit card? 

Post # 37
Member
887 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

I would be shocked at my hubby if he ate $2k worth of tacos in that amount of time! Pack a lunch buddy! Lol.

I’m going to echo what all the other bees have said– you guys need to have a serious conversation. I can’t imagine administering my husband’s credit cards…and I would never expect him to do that to me. It comes off as very “parent-like” in your post. I think he needs to understand that you’re concerned about carrying over a balance. At the same time, I think you need to respect his right to have a credit card…and all of the responsibility that comes with it. I never check what my hubby spends money on. Instead, we both understand that we have common financial goals and trust that all large purchases are a joint decision.

As a side note, we also put absolutely everything on credit cards– bill pay, $1 donut, groceries, eating out. We pay them off in full every month and take advantage of lots of the perks– %back, rewards points, etc.

Post # 38
Member
2738 posts
Sugar bee

View original reply
@LGenz:  I know. I don’t use my debit card ever anymore. I’m always using my cc tied to an airline and paying off the balance each month. Sometimes I do have a small carryover balance but it’s not much. I honestly don’t see the big deal here. You can spend $2000 on Chipotle. It’s expensive especially in NYC. You can spend $10-15 on a meal in one go. Anyhow, if he’s paying it off, I don’t see the big deal. Is he financially irresponsible in other aspects or only this credit card? Does he have his own credit card that he pays off?

Post # 39
Member
2861 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I still want to know in how long of a time period he spent $2k at Chipolte. Because that much in one month isn’t even really possible unless he ate there for all 3 meals and bought friends meals too. 

Post # 40
Member
10635 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2011

View original reply
@mixtapehearts:  Maybe it wasn’t just in 1 month?

Post # 41
Member
10635 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2011

@2strapscool:  You haven’t provided us much information, which is fine if you just wanted to vent.  If you want advice from us though, I at least would want more information.

Post # 42
Member
5842 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2011

Spending $2000 at Chipotle is hard… You’d have to eat one meal a day there like 3x a week for an entire year. I like chipotle too but doesn’t that get old after a while? I’d buy him a pack of tortillas and tell him to learn how to make them at home.

Post # 44
Member
2861 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I’m not trying to nitpick, I’d kill my Fiance with my bare hands if he spent $2k on anything without talking to me, much less that much on burritos. I’m just wondering how in the world that is even plausible..

ETA: Okay the update makes much more sense. Although I have to say 2k over 5 months of gas and eating out isn’t THAT crazy. That’s $400 a month which seems semi reasonable depending on the area you live in.

Post # 45
Member
2017 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

I thought OP meant he bought $2000 in Chipotle STOCK. And then lost his ass in the market. But that would have shown at least some initiative, as opposed to literally eating that money.

I don’t think he’s going to understand how serious his problem is until he gets some financial counseling. It has to come from someone other than you, or he won’t listen. I hope you can convince him that your entire future is at stake and that he agrees to get some help.

Post # 46
Member
2638 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2006

I don’t get it. Is he making payments or paying it off every month? I know a lot of people who put utilities on credit cards to get the points and then pay the balance off in full every month.

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