(Closed) Fiance is in a wedding soon….

posted 5 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 16
5891 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2017

You do what the other guests do. Go to the ceremony if you want, then do things by yourself or with friends before the reception to kill time. 

There is no way they can accommodate all of the wedding parties significant others apart from the ones that are also in the wedding party. Too many people and stress. You’ll have to take care of yourself and wish them well with the pictures and duties.

Post # 18
217 posts
Helper bee

I think it’s best to have him all the bride and groom what they expect of you. Maybe they think you’ll be helpful during the pictures?  Or if they don’t want you around, definitely hang around with the other guests. 

But I really just want to say that the shots/bar hopping thing sounds like a terrible idea. Lol.

Post # 19
4572 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

View original reply
soontobeericab :  You should be invited to the rehearsal dinner if the couple is being polite.  When I was the guest at a wedding my Fiance was in, I went with his family to the ceremony, sat with them and went to cocktail hour with them.  In weddings I was in, Fiance only knew the people in the wedding party so he hung around while we were taking pictures at the cocktail hour and grabbed drinks/snacks for us between pictures.  I’ve also never heard of bar hopping during the cocktail hour – every wedding either of us has been in has used this time for taking formal photos. 

Post # 20
677 posts
Busy bee

Whenever I have been in a wedding or DH has been in a wedding. A stop at least one bar is customary in my area too, the bride and groom extend an invite for the wedding party dates to join in going to bars (they usually tell other friends too!). If there is room on the party bus, dates have always been invited too. I would be ready to join in on the bar hopping- but it probably won’t be talked about until the day before or day of.  Usually there are some  pictures taken before bar hopping, so just be prepared to have some time to kill before the wedding party is ready for the bar.

Post # 21
677 posts
Busy bee

View original reply
weddingsarehard :  I’m not in Wisconsin, but in the Midwest and bar hoping always happens between the reception and ceremony. The only time I know it hasn’t has been when the bride and groom are underage or there is only one venue.

Post # 22
1898 posts
Buzzing bee

We invited SO’s to the rehearsal. When your SO gets invited to the rehearsal, it should be made clear to him if the invite is for just him or both of you. 

I didn’t care if SO’s stuck around for pictures, as long as they weren’t annoying or trying to jump in pictures. SO’s weren’t invited to the getting ready portion of the day. We did tell them some cool places to hang out near by and offered a hotel room for them to use to change (if they didn’t want to be in their dress clothes all day). 

Post # 23
496 posts
Helper bee

Everyone else has pretty much covered it – you will basically just be a regular guest.  Drive to the ceremony on your own, then go home or to the cocktail hour in between ceremony and reception. Hopefully you’ll know someone to sit with during dinner.  Then after dinner your Fiance will be free to hang out with you, once all of the formal things (speeches, dances) are over.

People go bar hopping and get a party bus in between the ceremony and reception where I’m from too!  (NW Ohio).  You’re not the only one.  Most of the weddings here/in my family are Catholic and have to be early (1:00 or 1:30) and the reception doesn’t usually start until 5 or 6 – so the wedding party does all this during the gap.  And yeah, sometimes they get pretty intoxicated in that timespan, but that’s part of the fun for some people. (Not me personally, we did things a little different and joined our guests for the extended cocktail hour before taking pics).

If there is room for all of the wedding party members to have a guest for the bar hopping, sometimes FI’s and spouses are invited – but you’d have to have a pretty large bus for this, so it’s definitely not the norm.  So you’ll probably do the same things other guests do in between ceremony and reception, unless specifically invited.

Edited to add: As an engaged couple, you should be invited to the rehearsal dinner too. And if you are, you should be able to go to the rehearsal as well, if you want.  One of my BM’s brought her Fiance to both, which was just fine – he didn’t participate but was welcome to watch.  The only reason I could see not inviting a wedding party member’s Fiance is if the budget was really tight – but even then, they technically should be invited.  We extended the invitation to the bridal party’s fiances and boyfriends/girlfriends, especially in cases where they were from out of town.

Post # 25
670 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

View original reply
soontobeericab :  you do as you would if you were a guest…as that’s what you are. Your SO will join you when he’s able. Otherwise, do what the other guests do

Post # 26
7934 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

when my DH was a best man, i dropped him off at the hotel in the early afternoon so he could get ready with the guys and take photographs (they typically do photos before the ceremony).  then i went home to get ready. 

i went to the ceremony. DH met me at cocktail hour and then he was with me throughout the reception.

once he did the recessional, his Groomsmen duties were over. well he might have been part of the bride/groom entrance when the bridal party come in.

Post # 27
1189 posts
Bumble bee


Wil there be a rehersal dinner? That’s a great time to meet the spouses/dates/SOs of other bridal party members. You guys can stick together at the ceremony and cocktail hour.

Post # 28
1052 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

Wisconsin bee here. Last year my Fiance was in a wedding. This is probably the exception to the rule, but the bride and groom hired a bus for transport between the ceremony site and reception site that would be big enough to hold the wedding party and their SOs. (I was informed ahead of time.) They did intend to go bar hopping between the ceremony and reception, but pictures took longer than expected so they skipped it. I hung around the other SO’s during this time, but sat alone at a random table during dinner. I drove myself to the reception site and then carpooled with some of the groom’s relatives to the ceremony site, which the groom arranged for me and a few others. (This made it so my car wasn’t stuck at the ceremony site until the next day.) I was not formally invited to the rehearsal dinner the night before, but it was apparently assumed that the wedding party could bring a guest, so I would have your Fiance check on that. I would expect to be alone most of the day and take it as a learning experience for how you want to treat the SOs of your wedding party on YOUR big day. 😉

Post # 29
1188 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

Were you invited to the wedding? That’s not clear from your post. 

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