(Closed) Fiance is in a wedding soon….

posted 5 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 31
Member
369 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

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soontobeericab :  I’m going to a wedding in October where my fiance is the best man and the only person I know is the groom. Though i suspect that a few of his friends I met on previous occasions may be there as well. I plan to just go with the flow and chat it up with other guests. I’m sure my fiance will be plenty busy so I won’t rely on him to keep me company until the reception after his toast and a few pictures. Don’t put so much pressure on yourself. Enjoy yourself and meet new people or if you’re shy, just sit back and do some people-watching. Weddings are ususally very entertaining. 

Post # 32
Member
6960 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

You really need more information from the bride and groom about the wedding. Is there a large gap in between the ceremony and reception when they’re taking pictures? Or is it all in the same place and goes right from ceremony to cocktail hour to reception? If the latter is the case, nothing to worry about. 

If it’s the former, then you have some options. You could just go back to your home/hotel after the ceremony and wait around for the reception…or you could be invited to tag along for pictures. I’ve been a Bridesmaid or Best Man in a wedding where my husband was just a guest. After the ceremony, the bridal party all took a shuttle to different locations for pictures and spouses/SOs were welcome to hang out with us on the shuttle. So that’s what my husband did. He was also in a wedding once where the same thing happened. I went on the shuttle with the bridal party as they drove around to take pictures. It was super fun!

So maybe that’s what’s happening here? How soon is this wedding? 

Post # 33
Member
1309 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

Well then you should get the information that you need in the invitation! They should make it clear which events you are invited to. 

Post # 34
Member
14160 posts
Honey Beekeeper

All that is really required of your Fiance is to attend the rehearsal, the rehearsal dinner, stand up for the groom at the ceremony and take photos with the wedding party before and during. For their parts, a considerate bride and groom should really not impose a huge gap on their guests, obligate Fiance to go bar hopping, or IMO seat you separately at the reception.

It would be very inappropriate not to invite you to the rehearsal dinner.

I dislike it when people put couples at separate tables just so they can have a table that includes bridal party only and can’t remember the last time I attended a wedding where this was done.

At the reception itself, there might be some photos taken of the bridal party throughout the cocktail hour, or none, if they were done ahead of time. You should have plenty of time with Fiance at the reception.

Of course, if things aren’t this way, you’ll just have to go along with it. Either you can get a ride with Fiance and hang around if people are doing that, or take separate transportation.

 

Post # 35
Member
142 posts
Blushing bee

We are including bridal party SOs for the rehearsal dinner, best shot golf tourney and party bus. I wouldn’t feel right not including then. 

Post # 36
Member
1188 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

Yeah, unfortunately you will be alone for basically the whole event. My husband was just best man at his best friend’s wedding, and I barely even got to see him! There was a head table, and my table was as far away from theirs as you could get, lol. At least I knew the spouses of the rest of the wedding party, and we were seated together!

Post # 37
Member
3606 posts
Sugar bee

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soontobeericab :  My DH was just in a wedding and here’s how it went. I got ready and showed up alone for the ceremony and found some friends to sit with. The pictures were taken before the ceremony — that’s how most people I know do it, so my DH was able to join me for cocktail hour. The couple chose to do a sweetheart table, so DH and I got to sit together for dinner. I was just like any other guest, and so was he once the ceremony was finished. All in all, this couple was considerate of their wedding party members and dates.

I’ve never heard of the wedding party going bar hopping between the ceremony and the reception…that’s what the cocktail hour is for. You might have to hang out without your FI during the cocktail hour if the B&G choose to do their pictures during that time, but that’s about it. Head tables have really seemed to fall out of favor, at least among the people I know, so hopefully you won’t be alone during dinner.

Post # 38
Member
5778 posts
Bee Keeper

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BalletParker :  lol I was thinking the same thing! I was mindful of how much I drank at my own wedding, I wanted to make sure I enjoyed my reception & could remember my wedding night! so I had no alcohol beforehand, paced myself @ the reception, & switched to Diet Coke & coffee later on in the evening after I’d had 4 drinks throughout dinner & the early evening (my normal limit is 2 usually, 3 or 4 absolute tops). Pounding shots before the reception- I’d be done in by the time I got there! 

Post # 39
Member
838 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

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soontobeericab :  yes you will be invited to the rehearsal dinner. Make a point to befriend some other SOs of the wedding party so you can stick together when youre “orphaned” during pics etc.

Post # 40
Member
451 posts
Helper bee

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soontobeericab :  we had SOs come on the party bus with us, and they either stayed on the bus with a drink or came out to watch pictures…. Only about 1.5 hours between ceremony and cocktail. Then they sat at the head table with the wedding party. Some of them wouldn’t have known anyone, so I didn’t want them to feel awkward. I would have your SO reach out to the groom and ask what the plan is.

Post # 41
Member
9263 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

I’m in Michigan and have never heard of the bar-hopping thing.

My husband was his best friend’s Best Man a few years ago. I love the bride and we get along really well every time we’re together, but we’re not BFFs so I was not in the wedding and it was never a problems. I was invited to the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner (SO’s should always be invited to these). Groomsmen got ready at home then showed up for the ceremony. Really the only person I knew other than B&G was the groom’s dad, who was seated front row, so I sat by myself. NP — it was a beautiful ceremony and fun to watch my husband walk the Maid/Matron of Honor down the aisle. They did pics after the ceremony and fortunately (or smartly) (or considerately) the ceremony and reception were in the same location so I was able to go back & forth between cocktail hour and watching the photos. For dinner, my husband was at the head table and I was seated at a table with the minister and his wife and some people I didn’t know, but nbd, I can make small talk when appropriate. Oh — another buddy and his wife were also at my table, but I think they showed up late so I mostly talked with the minister and his wife. After dinner, my husband and I hung out a bit together and danced some. There was a bridal party dance and he was called away every now and then for pics and some other things. I didn’t mind. I love the couple and am able to keep myself entertained for a few hours so I had fun.

Post # 42
Member
1887 posts
Buzzing bee

It would probably be really awkward if you hung around for photos and other wedding party events, and you probably wouldn’t even really get to enjoy that time with your DH. Yes, it’s too bad that your DH will be busy for a lot of the day, but that’s part of being in a wedding. It’s always funny to me how hard people push for the bridal party to get dates, when this is the reality.

FWIW, we are including all our party’s partners and dates at our head table, and it’s going to be 22 people. So including dates can really balloon the amount of space you need and people you have to accommodate for.

Post # 43
Member
691 posts
Busy bee

If DH is in a wedding, I usually go back to the hotel for the gap time, make a drink, and tease my hair even more… but I’m in the South. 

Maybe find some of the other groomsmens’ lady friends and go get a drink if there’s not a cocktail hour already planned.

Post # 44
Member
4225 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2015 - Hotel Ballroom

This has happened to me twice now! 

My DH would leave early to get ready. I would come as a guest. During the cocktail hour he’d disapear with the rest of the wedding party for photos and I’d mill around with the other guests and nibble. One of the weddings him and I were seated seperately (because there was a special table for the wedding party), but fortunatly the bride and groom were thoughtful enough to have me seated with people I knew (I didn’t know most people at the wedding). The other wedding there was a seating chart but the wedding party was divided up between two tables so they could be seated with their SO’s (which was much more comfortable, and we chose to do that as well at our wedding).

I’m not going to lie, it can feel a little awkward during the ceremony and cocktail hour, and even the dinner if you two are seated seperately. But once you get to the dancing and festivities it doesn’t matter 🙂

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