(Closed) Fiance Is REALLY bad about buying gifts for others. What to do?

posted 5 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 3
3697 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

“Hey, your mom might like this for her birthday, what do you think?”

“What do you think is a good budget for birthday presents?  $50?  I can just pick up something for your brother or mail him a giftcard if you’re busy.”

“Wow, your cousin and his wife just moved into their first house!  Remember how stressful that was for us and how strapped we were for cash?  I’m gonna go pick up a Home Depot gift card and bottle of wine for them.  You think $50 is enough to get a couple gallons of paint?”

My husband works well within budgets.  We set a limit for Christmas for each person, then I just handle it.  I get his input for his family but it’s my deal. 

Post # 5
2712 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@almostmrsj:  +1


Does he not buy gifts because he doesn’t like to spend money in general or does he just think gift giving is silly?  Are his finances legitamately tight or his he just overly frugal?  I’d probably just take this into my own hands.  I’d get his budget, then buy a gift for him.  You’re essentially a team anyway and gifts should be from both of you.

Post # 6
12248 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

I’m like that. A total penny-pincher! I buy Darling Husband a Christmas gift and an anniversary present each year, and give my (much younger) siblings $10 each at Christmas. But that’s it!

Darling Husband is much more giving, but it’s just how I am. I don’t like to spend money!

Post # 7
5966 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

I think that in relatinoships it’s good to divide up jobs.  It looks like in your relatinoship that buying gifts should be your job.  So you take care of buying them and all gifts are presented as being from the two of you.

If you two don’t plan to combine finances and you are concerned about the expense, then talk to him and decide on a reasonable budget, and have him reimburse you.

Easy peasy.

Post # 8
3572 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I would tell him point blank that this kind of behavior shows a lack of empathy, which is an important quality to possess.  I have a real problem with people being cheap, so this would drive me crazy.  

Post # 9
850 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@evangeladanae:  My husband is not into giving/receiving gifts on specific times. He’s more into giving something at any random time when he sees something he knows a loved one will appreciate, but that doesn’t happen often! I don’t push him to buy gifts for others, it’s not my responsibility and I don’t feel bad. If I want to purchase a gift for my MIL’s birthday, I do it! She knows it’s from me since he’s so bad about gifts, so there’s no reason to have him sign the card or pretend it’s from him too!

Post # 10
1460 posts
Bumble bee

Ugh. No offense to your husband but I can’t stand stingy people. Like seriously can’t stand them. It’s one thing to be broke and not be able to afford to give but if you spend on yourself beyond your basic needs, why can’t you give to people who give to you?

Sorry to be so judgmental….gifts are my love language so I’m extremely sensitive and unsympathetic toward cheapness.

If you have shared finances, even though guys like this usually don’t go for shared finances…I’d just write gifts in as a line item on our budget. Doesn’t have to break the bank but it has to be something.

Insist on him learning how to make gifts…bake things for his family for the holidays (pies in a jar, little cakes, cookie tins, etc) but he can’t go through life taking…no one loves a taker.

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