(Closed) Fiance is upset that I didn't invite his mom and sisters dress shopping

posted 3 years ago in Dress
Post # 46
Member
4254 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I invited my husband’s mom to come back for one reason — she has 3 sons including my husband and really wanted the chance to go dress shopping.  I invited her because I love her to death and it meant a lot for her to be involved.  I ended up having my 3 bridesmaids, my mom, and my mother in law when we went dress shopping. I thought it may be too many people but it ended up being perfect.  We even got to hang out afterward and eat dinner together.

Now, with your situation, it’s different.  You only wanted two people there and that is what you had.  That’s fine!  This is not your mother in law’s moment, it’s your mom’s.  Don’t feel bad about this, and obviously your fiance does not fully understand.

Post # 47
Member
3171 posts
Sugar bee

He can take them suit shopping if it’s important to him. Your shopping trip = your way. 

Post # 49
Member
368 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

<u>JBJ2017 :</u>  I think he needs to calm down to be honest. It’s your dress and, typically, the moment is shared between you and your own mother. I am close to FI’s mum and invited her to come shopping with me, my mum and Maid/Matron of Honor once, as she had indicated she’d like to join us. However, there were too many opinions and I didn’t feel 100% comfortable. When I found my dress it was just me and my mum. On further reflection, I’ve decided I want to keep my dress a surprise from everyone else – it is something that is special to me, I told Future Mother-In-Law this and she was disappointed but still very excited for a surprise (and she has two goregous daughters of her own, who will she will hopefully get to share the experience with too :)). I’d speak directly to her if I were you, to clear the air and ensure there are no hurt feelings.

Post # 50
Member
908 posts
Busy bee

I invited my Future Mother-In-Law to go dress shopping later this month because my Fiance is an only child and she is more excited about this wedding than my own mother lol. I am the last of 3 daughters to get married, so my mom is over it. lol

Post # 51
Member
767 posts
Busy bee

misslucy :  maybe for the same reason why so many people used to think it was a good idea to cut up photo negatives, or that if you hit the wrong key you blow a computer.  It’s a glorified assumption, or maybe someone told them that at some point.

Post # 52
Member
767 posts
Busy bee

JBJ2017 :  just curious if I didn’t ask before, how does you Mother-In-Law feel about this? Was she all upset or did your Fl assume that this was a tradition? just curious. I just wonder because I’ve been in a few situations where someone was told on my behalf  that I was all upset over something and I didn’t know anything about it.

Post # 53
Member
68 posts
Worker bee

JBJ2017 :  I only took my mom the very first time and my mom and maid of honor one of other other times. I was most comfortable with them. I don’t hang out with his mother much so I wanted it to be more personal and it meant alot to have the first one especially be just my mom and I. I never ended up asking her or my sil to go actually and I don’t regret it at all. Especially if you don’t have that relationship with her just yet.

Post # 54
Member
701 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

JBJ2017 :  your fiancé sounds too controlling.  He shouldn’t be concerned about how you went about picking your dress.  And his mom should be okay with not being invited, even if he were her only son.  Good luck with marrying into that family.  You’ll need it.

Post # 56
Member
1420 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

I took my mom, my sister (MOH), and his mom too. I invited her because I love her and she has 3 sons and always wanted a daughter. So I gave her that experience and it really paid off. She was touched to tears and still thanks me for it.

Although if she had daughters on her own, I probably wouldn’t invite her. It is a special moment and you get to decide who comes with you.

Post # 57
Member
4698 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I don’t understand how dress shopping is a big event. I went with my mom and that’s it, I didn’t even think about inviting my Mother-In-Law. I wouldn’t feel bad, he’s being overbearing and in fact, taking this moment from you. Its yours, not his mothers.

Post # 58
Member
1063 posts
Bumble bee

When I went dress shopping I never even thought of inviting my ex’s mom & sister. I took my mom & sister. 

Post # 59
Member
33 posts
Newbee

I honestly would just have him read this. It sounds to me like he had some major misconception (probably from silly shows like say yes to the dress) that dress shopping is something both moms usually attend, and because he believes that, it seems he thinks you purposely chose to exclude his mom. He’s making a mountain out of a molehill and as someone else mentioned, this was your mom’s moment if anything, not his mom’s. 

Post # 60
Member
1115 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2017 - Mississauga Convention Centre

When I went dress shopping I only went with my mom and my future mother in law. I knew it would mean a lot to my future mother in law to be there, and I wanted to share an important day and decision with both moms.

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