(Closed) Fiance issue

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 4
2091 posts
Buzzing bee

My advice probably won’t be any help to you.

Let him choose his own groomsmen. They’re standing on his side, i.e his choice.

Post # 5
1501 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@Gingersnap: Exactly.

We decided on how many for each side and then were free to choose who we wanted to.

Post # 6
4755 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

You imposed your choices on him, he’s allowed to be bitter about it. And he is bitter about it.

Post # 7
7300 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

You are making an issue out of nothing and it’s not worth the stress. Let him choose his own groomsmen. Your part doesn’t have to be gender locked. It’s 2011, not 1950. Why not include your little brother on your side?

Post # 8
2576 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Agree with all the others- HE gets to choose HIS Groomsmen. (ie you do not!).

Post # 9
7587 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

I would have been pissed if someone told me who to have on my side.  I don’t blame him.  I had a “bridesman”. I don’t get why you just didn’t elect for them to be on your side instead of forcing them upon him.

Post # 10
541 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I agree with everyone else–You, and he, should be able to choose who ever you want for your side, regardless of what your SO chooses.

Post # 11
369 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I asked my Fiance to include my two brothers in on his side, and he asked me to include his sister on my side.  Not a big deal.  Luckily, we love each other’s siblings enough to want to include them, even if we hadn’t asked each other.

In your case, it doesn’t seem as though he is as close to your brother and cousins, so he’s a bit resentful that he wasn’t able to have one of his friends there with whom he is likely closer.  I can’t say that I blame him. It stinks, but try to see it from his point of view.  If everyone has already been asked, I’m not sure there is a lot you can do, other than to swap people and have your brother/cousins stand on your side and his cousins on his side.  Then maybe he won’t feel so much like you picked people for him?

Post # 12
3866 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I completely agree with the others.  

I also feel bad for your Fiance because YOU are controlling HIM.  Personally, if someone tried this with me, I’d have been very pissed and would not have allowed it.  You’re pretty lucky he didn’t do THAT.

Let him choose, or you can deal with a Fiance who is going to be very bitter and probably angry at you for not letting HIM choose who HE wants.


Post # 13
1269 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

I think you could ask your little brother in middle school to participate in another way.  Maybe as an usher?  Or passing out programs?  He probably doesn’t even want to get dressed up and stand up there. 

Post # 15
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

I agree, its his side, so he should pick. You don’t need gender divides, like Tattoo said, its 2011.  If I were him, I’d be bitter as well. And you also don’t have to have the same number on each side either

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