(Closed) Fiancé issued ultimatum

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
2750 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

He’s being a child. You can have whoever the eff you want as your Maid/Matron of Honor. =/

Post # 4
Member
839 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Can you have 2 bridesmaids?

 

it’s your choice who your bridesmaids are, just like it’s his choice who his groomsmen are 

Post # 5
Member
2379 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

@Smiley-girl:  he sounds controlling and VERY immature to me. why would it matter if you wanted your sister??? shes your sister!!!!!! i had 3 bridemaids and asked a 4th but she couldnt come back from overeas. if it makes you happy your fiancee should be happy. his behaviour seems weird. esp going to your parents to confront them? na-ah!

Post # 6
Member
1966 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

He sounds super immature. If it were me I wouldn’t appreciate fi talking to my parents that way. We’d have a serious problem. Aside from that I have sisters, we are very close couldn’t imagine getting married without them by my side. I wouldn’t let anyone tell me who my bridesmaids were going to be. I don’t think he’s protecting you, I think he feels a power struggle between himself & your parents. He needs to get a grip. 

Post # 7
Member
676 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

@Smiley-girl:  Seriously? How is he trying to protect you? I can understand if you have an unhealthy relationship with your family (as I do) and he is trying to protect you from that or their manipulations. Of course, ultimately it is your choice though, I would think. Have you told him whom he can or can’t have as a groomsman? If you did, how do you think he would react? 

Post # 8
Member
3277 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

If you’re having a large tradition wedding, doesn’t it make sense to have multiple bridesmaids? He sounds very immature about it. 

Post # 9
Member
1571 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Way too many people are involved in this decision. 

Do not allow him to hold the wedding you want hostage in order to get you to submit to him. 

Post # 10
Member
2831 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Umm WTH? He’s acting like a big baby. How dare he…

Post # 11
Member
11234 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

Um. What? 

There has to be something missing from this story.

Post # 12
Member
4659 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I don’t get it, why can’t you have both? I’m not even naming a “maid of honor” so you could probably “get around” it that way.

Post # 13
Member
109 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

Um… what!? Whats wrong with your sister? SHes your SISTER. If it were me and tell my Fiance to kiss my ass.

Post # 14
Member
926 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

It sounds like you and your FH have a major miscommunication between you. He thinks he is doing you a favour.. But even then, make it clear to him that you don’t want him picking your battles

Post # 15
Member
1018 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I agree with the PPs. Not his decision. He needs to butt out.

Post # 16
Member
198 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@vorpalette:  I agree something is missing to this story.  I think he may be a bit controlling. Even for argument sake you gave in to your parents wish, it’s still YOUR choice. And if you told him that after giving it some thought you “could not imagine getting ready and walking down the aisle without her there” then that should be the end of the discussion. I mean doesn’t he trust your judgment enough that you are able to determine your feelings on your own? I have a sister whose husband is controlling, there’s a slew of issues. When I read your thread, I saw a red flag. I had that same feeling I get when my sister tells me things about him. They’re still married it’s not the end of the world but their relationship is FAR from ideal and drama free.
This is supposed to be a happy time for you. If you give in to an ultimatum you will be setting a precedent.

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