(Closed) Fiance just waiting for job….

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
1042 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

First off,just like you said, he doesn’t sound lazy. Why don’t you just ask him something like, “Hey, have you thought about applying for a back up job? I know you’ll probably get the sheriff’s office  job, I just worry.”

Then you could explain that maybe if you get the backup job first, you could just switch now, with plenty of time to politly quit in November. Honestly, it’s all about tone in this case. If you mention things like how hard working he is, he’s not going to assume you are nitpicking him.

Post # 5
Member
21 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I agree with SToppy321. Its about tone and being supportive. I understand your frustration. I went through a similar time period with my SO.  He got offered a a fantastic position with a great starting salary, but the same caveat …”our hands our tied until _____”. Unfortunately the until dragged for an entire year and a half. The offer was so great and they would touch base with my SO about every 2 months promising “soon” that he waited. He found a few part-time jobs that he enjoyed, but I could tell he was not happy, and he wasn’t actively looking for other jobs because he “had” one just no starting date. We had many strained conversations and a few arguments about this, especially since I firmly believe in being pro-active in situations like this. Its very hard watching someone you love be unhappy but in the end, its a personal decision and he is the one that has to decide what steps he wants to take .

I think its important that it does not come off as nagging becuase he might eventually recent it. It helped my SO and I to brainstorm backup plans for “what if” he never got the job. Talk about what kind of job he envisions himself having, if he just graduated he might not be 100% sure of what he wants or how to go about getting it. This way you are working together, and maybe brainstorming will inspire him to do some active job searching.

BTW my SO did get offered the job he was waiting for at the 2 year mark, but by that point he had already accepted another good position with another company. 

Sorry this is so long.

Post # 6
Hostess
7564 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

That’s a tought situation. It’s our natural desire to fix problems when our SO’s present them to us, but I think in this case he just wants someone to listen. I can understand feeling frustrated but he may feel unsupported if you push too hard. Looking for a job is so stressful…I would just try to be as supportive as possible of his search without taking over (like suggesting jobs) too much. 

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