(Closed) Fiance left after an argument

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
8738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

@lovedove45: What were you arguing over?

Do you know where he has been staying?

It seems like more than just a few words were exchanged if he has disappeared for 4 days.

Does he usually have a temper?

Does he know anyone else in the area? Maybe he’s staying with a friend.

Post # 4
2742 posts
Sugar bee

Ouch! Are you worried or are you pissed? That should make a difference because if you are worried, that means it’s out of character for him and he could be in trouble or hurt somewhere. If it’s the other way around, I don’t know what to say. Going away for 4 days and not responding to your overtures is kinda harsh although I agree with Kat, it seems like more than words were exchanged.

Post # 5
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

Wow I mean I don’t know how bad your fight was but that sounds a little immature, right? I mean to be so mad that you ignore your wife for 4 straight days? Doesn’t he care about worrying you that he might be dead or something? Like I understand people get mad and need to cool down, but this sounds a little extreme. You can’t do that if you’re married..

Post # 6
273 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

It is really hard to give advice since we don’t know why you guys were fighting or what was said. If you care to share the details maybe one or many can help.


Post # 7
7300 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

I can’t give advice since we don’t know anything, but you are his wife and he is your husband. He shouldn’t be pulling crap like this. I hope he’s okay.

Post # 8
2321 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Call people whom you think he might be staying with. If nothing comes up then file a police report. And do it fast! He is your legal hubby after all. They will find him. And THEN you guys talk calmly and rationally about wth happened.

Post # 9
49 posts
  • Wedding: September 2012

Wait, so did the argument stem from a problem with your family, his family, or just you? Lord knows, my Fiance and I have had some raging fights stemming from family situations.

I’m sorry this happened to you! I don’t know any details and I’m not judging, but his reaction is childish and selfish, especially if you are both already legally married to each other. You made silent vows to one another the day you got legally married, so, you’re married, public ceremonial vows or not. He should be acting like a grown man, even if he does have a right to be angry (which, I don’t know if he does, because I wasn’t there). If that’s how he’s going to end arguments, maybe he’s not adult enough to be married to someone right now. I’m not trying to be harsh, but perhaps your instincts were correct when you said you felt you had certain decisions to make… If he does this a lot, maybe you’re right to realistically explore your options. Of course you love him… but that’s the exact reason why break ups are always hard.

If it helps, every single time I’ve had an argument with my Fiance, I contemplate calling off the engagement, questioning what I want most out of life, and wondering if we’re making the right decision. But then a day or two passes, we’re still engaged, I remind myself that the good times we have far outweight the bad, we get over it, and I always end up happy that I stayed put. But he’s never walked out for four days, either, which in my book is unacceptable behavior.

All in all, I’m not saying whether you should stay or go, but I am saying he’s being a child. It’s one of those situations where no one can really tell you what’s right or wrong. Sounds like a lot of talking needs to be done. I wish you lots of luck, and I hope he calls you and acts very apologetic for walking out in anger.

Not to be overly sentimental, but try to look within and stay true to yourself. That helps.




Post # 10
708 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

Unacceptable behavior. Sorry, I don’t have any advice for you, but I am am furious for you. You should not have to go through this and he is acting like a child, not a married man.

Post # 12
8738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

@lovedove45: Did any part of the house become his when you got legally married (I’m not sure of the laws in your state).

Also, who is paying for the wedding? Have there been any budget issues with the wedding where the $100 difference in commission would have made a big difference?

It sounds like there is some bigger issue here and the leasing of the house just brought it to a head.

Post # 13
5889 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2012

does he usually get this riled up?  $100 shouldn’t rationally equate to a 4 day hiatus.  that seems rather unacceptable to me. 

Post # 14
5797 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2011

I was expecting you to say you were arguing about religion or his parents or something BIG. No communication for four days over $100 makes 0 sense.

Post # 15
10366 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

Holy immature, Batman!

Walking out, let alone walking out and zero contact, is 100% absolutely, completely unacceptable in my house. Not to mention getting so riled up over such a petty thing…sounds like he is having issues with you making major financial decisions on your own, and it could be a control thing. He may be feeling insecure about the fact that you own a house and can do all of this without him.

And using calling off a wedding as leverage? He does realize he’s already married….right? Crazy.

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