Post # 91
Dylan28: I’ve been following this thread and I don’t agree with some of the snarky and down right rude comments from some people who think they’re the next dr Phil. I think you need support right now and I’m here to support you. I hope you had a good day today and I’m looking forward to your updates
Post # 92
MissSweetiepie: Thank you that means a lot, the tough love would be necessary if I wasn’t already accepting blame for my circumstance.
Post # 93
As far as updates I wish I could say it were getting easier today but it’s not. After getting pulled over and ticketed today for having a crack in my windshield I did any work that I had to do early in the afternoon. I had to go to our house to get some things to ship and that was the first time being there since she left. All her stuff is still there and I just couldn’t stand to be in there for more than a few minutes. I don’t know how I’ll ever go back, not to mention I recently found out my/our roomate of 8 years and best friend (next to her) has been addicted to pain pills for the last 3 years. We wondered why he spent so much time in his room, now I know. I always admired him and thought he was a really strong person. So that’s one last person to lean on in a time like this. Our house feels like such dark place to be right now.
It’s Friday night and I’m sitting at my parents house watching a movie wondering if she’s out having fun. I can’t believe I’m 28 years old and staying at my parents house. I never thought I could be broken down this much. It was so hard not to text or email her something sweet today. I spent a lot of the day writing a letter to her in the park. I’m still so worried I’m not going to be prepared to see her when she comes to get her stuff. I won’t know how to be around her, I’ll have so much to say but I don’t want to hit her with all my thoughts about us and what I’ve learned if she doesn’t care to hear it. But I am going to need closure or some answers from her soon, she walked out the door without hardly talking to me at all, I asked her to atleast read the things I’ve been writing about us and my feelings over the last few weeks. She read a few pages very reluctantly and her facial expression didn’t flinch. She was completely unmoved. She packed a bag took our dog and left.
There’s one thing I haven’t figured out yet no matter how deep I dig for answers. Why did she want to marry me if I was so imperfect, I’ve been the same person for the last 2 years and she wanted to marry just 4 months ago. She continued to make it seem as though that was the crux of her decision to leave. I became a completely different person after the first 3 years of our relationship. But I understand by my not giving as much attention to her needs and getting too comfortable it built up a lot of resentment mixed with the wedding not moving forward as originally planned – must have just hit her all at once one day. Especially since May 10th was a day we had talked about having the wedding at one point. I wish there was some way to undo all of this.
Post # 94
Your ex-FI sounds like a smart girl. You, on the other hand, sound like a douchenozzle.
Post # 96
Dylan28: I haven’t read all of these, but did read your last update. I hope you are doing okay.
As to why she said yes 4 months prior to your break up, this is what i’ve seen before…girl gets so focused on “getting the ring” she puts blinders on when it comes to the man and relationship–all she can see is getting engaged. Once she got the ring, suddenly all the stuff she wasn’t paying attention to came to the forefront. And once you see all the faults, you often can’t unsee them. Then you fall out of love and you see more faults and it’s a vicious cycle.
I know it hurts, but in the end everything works out for the best. You will meet another woman who is more compatible and you’ll know better and treat her (and the relationship) better. You will get through this!