Post # 31
I still can’t fully grasp the idea that I was in an abusive relationship. It almost makes me feel worse. It makes me wonder why I let myself be treated that way, and why couldn’t I see it? At one point I was actually googling “signs of abusive relationships” because I suspected it, but nothing I read online really convinced me that that’s what was happening to me.
Post # 32
browncoat : do not beat yourself up! you got free.
you didn’t see it right away because that’s what gaslighting does- they use the analogy of being in a pot of room temperature water, and the heat is so so slowly turned up, that you don’t notice it until you’re in scalding, boiling water. and over time, one’s new “Normal” becomes abuse. Tactics like pretending to be on your side, but at the same time slipping in criticisms “from the family” (I have my doubts on that one) are pretty textbook ways to undermine your self confidence over time. you are so well free of that shite.
just keep praising yourself that you got free. Affirmations about how strong you are. one foot in front of the other, bee, and lots of good self-care are so. important now.