(Closed) Fiancé left me is there any chance of getting her back

posted 4 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
3555 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

It sounds like she needs some space to work through her own issues. It isn’t nice of her to leave you hanging like this though. I’d say if you feel like waiting for her give her some time and some space and see if she comes back. It might be a good idea to contact her and have a ‘reconnect’ date so that you are not waiting endlessly. If you don’t want to put your life on hold waiting for her, it is within your rights to move on and date someone else if you wish.

Post # 4
11284 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

@Gizmo2013:  give her the space that she needs but remember that you still have a life too.  don’t just sit and wait for her.  keep yourself busy, join a new club, learn a new language, go to the gym, anything to meet new friends. 

set yourself some goals – short and long term.  simply focus on yourself right now.

good luck.  i believe that if it was meant to be, it will be.

Post # 7
12257 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

She sounds like she’s going through a seriously rough spell. I would give it a month, and if she doesn’t contact you, I would give her one last phone call.

It doesn’t sound like anything either one of you has done.

Post # 9
2687 posts
Sugar bee

Wow, I’m so sorry.  Only she knows the answer to whether you can get her back.  The best thing you can do is to stay open and supportive.  It does sound like her friend’s death is weighing heavily on her.  I think a therapist could really help her come to terms with her friend’s passing and with her feelings on your relationship.  You may want to connect with her family and priest to see if they can encourage the idea.  However, I do think that it’s unfair for her to string you along with no willingness to communicate.  Give her the opportunity to seek therapy or figure things out for herself, but set clear expecatations for how she should keep you updated on progress.  In the meantime, I agree with one of the PP’s that you should keep busy and focus on yourself for a bit.

Post # 10
6134 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

I just don’t understand this behavior…my FI’s parents were happily married and then his mom’s mom died (tragically because she was still young) and *BAM* she runs off with another guy and wants a divorce (this was when FI was like 2 years old). It’s like something snapped in her brain. Well they obviously didn’t get back together and it was pretty devastating for my FI and his brother. Honestly, I would move on. Do you really want to be with someone who might leave you when something bad happens in her life? You’re supposed to be her rock and support, not something she can just throw aside because something “inside her” changed…something that literally has nothing to do with your relationship.

Post # 11
9692 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@IzzyBear:  +1. Exactly this. Relationships go through so many ups and downs and you need to get through them together, not run away. We aren’t in high school anymore where taking “breaks” is a common or acceptance thing. You can either work things out or you can’t, and if only one person is willing then it is not worth it. If my FI totally cut me off, gave me a crappy explanation, and cancelled our engagement, I sure would not be begging him to come back. I want someone who wants to be with me, not someone who I have to convince.

Post # 12
4314 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

This happened to me while I was already married – I feel for the poor girl I do.  I believe she will come around.  For me I had no other option & I know I put my husband through complete hell.  The best thing you can do is respect her wishes, give her her space, but let her know you absolutely unconditionally love her and you will be there if she needs you.

If a year goes by, though… might have to reassess the situation.

Post # 13
1880 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

She broke up with you because she needs space. Do not call her, text her, whatever. No contact. Try to find some activities to do like joining a new club or something to keep you busy. Then just live your life. If she ends up wanting you back, she’ll let you know, but you can’t count on it.

Post # 15
4314 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Gizmo2013:  Well I never left him because we’re married, so that was not an option.  But I was going through a personal HELL.  Had we not been together, I am sure as shit we would have split up.  It was such a hard, hard time.  But when you’re married it is different.  So it’s hard for me to speculate.  

Post # 16
253 posts
Helper bee

@distracts:  I agree with you. She asked for space. He needs to give her all the space in the world to miss him and come to him. He also needs to live his life as hard as it must be.

Op I really feel for you, and I hope you will be ok. Good luck

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