Post # 1
I feel so abandoned. he won’t speak to me. We are both 27 years old. I came home to find our puppies we purchased 3 months ago, to be missing and my fiance standing in the kitchen. we just bought a house, in his name. He told me I have until October 1st to get out or he is calling the Sheriff. He also denied me my dogs. He refused to sit down and talk to me and told me not to contact him. And out the door he went. I was crushed.
Prior to buying the house and dogs he was staying with me for the last year pretty much rent/bill free. When we moved I now had an hour and a half commute to school and in order to get into a program, I had to take 21 credits this summer. I was very stressed with everything. Owning a house is a lot of work. All furniture and such is mine. I ended up paying him the share he paid for the dogs and then last minute he added he wanted the ring back too. He knew I would do anything for those dogs. While we are both listed as owners, he bought the tags. I was desperate for them.
I know I said some very hurtful things to him. I have apologized for them in the past. He has done some very hurtful things to me. But overall there was a lot more good than there was bad. We both love each other like crazy. I had to quit my job when we moved and now he is forcing me out and I am broke with 2 dogs (no can’t go to parents).
My question is, how do I get him to talk to me? He says he thought about it for a while now. But I am confused. The night before we had a great night. I had one of our favorite dinners ready for him when he came home from work. We had some wine, watched a movie, played with the dogs. I went to study and then fell asleep normal time, he stayed up to play games since he had the following day off. When he came to bed we said we loved each other and cuddled. the next morning was pretty normal as well.
From what I gather, he says I have hurt him and have been mean to him for so long. We haven’t spoke in a week and it has given me time to think. I do feel awful, I have been taking my stress out on him all summer. And even some before the big move. I suggested counseling as did his mother. He won’t hear it. He says he wants to move on with his life. It kills me that he won’t try. I could ramble on about how much I love him, but I am just assuming you know that is a given. Please, any advice on how to get my fiance to come home and speak to me (yes, he is staying with his parents until I leave).
Post # 2
You basically moved around to satisfy his needs, left your job, took on so many credits at school, previously let him live rent free with you… and you want this man back? He should be the one begging you to talk to him after the way he acted. No one who loves you/deserves you acts like that or gives up that quickly.
Post # 3
krystal.homilinga: keep calling and trying at least. Even if it doesn’t pan out at least you tried your hardest. I am so sorry you’re in pain – I hope it all works out soon. Big hugs to you and keep your chin up with postive thoughts!!
Post # 4
nikkiibee: Agree. However, if I were in that situation, I would probably want to talk to him just to understand what was going through his mind and give him a piece of mine. In no way would I want to take him back. I would tell him that given all that I’ve done for him, he owes me an explanation. I’m so sorry you had to go through this.
Post # 5
I’m so sorry you are going through this. Unfortunately, it takes two to make a relationship work – your willingness to change and his willingness to give you the chance too. It sounds as if he has already checked out of the relationship. I guess you have to ask yourself if you really want a man who is willing to give up on you so easily when times get rough?
Post # 6
He acted like an asshole. You dodged a bullet.
Post # 7
krystal.homilinga: There’s a lot more to this story…has to be.
Post # 8
krystal.homilinga: Unless there is something you have not said (like physically abusing him), he sounds like a jackass and you probably don’t want him back. Threatening to call the sheriff and hiding the dogs?
Post # 9
I’m sorry you’re going through this painful time, but I feel like there has to be more to the story. For him to just give up on your relationship out of the blue seems really crazy, and the fact that he’s not speaking to you has to make you wonder if it’s even worth fighting for.
How long have you been together? Did you try to contact him via way of his parents?
Good luck girl! Try to stay positive during this rough time.
Post # 10
You can’t make him talk to you. Don’t even bother trying – you’re not going to get answers that make it any easier. There is literally nothing he could say that would make this easier on you. You need to accept what he’s telling you, as hard as it is. And I know it’s hard and he’s left you in a terrible position.
Frankly, he sounds like an asshole. Maybe he’s not, but you guys don’t sound good together – sometimes good people bring out the worst in each other. It sounds like a lot of drama and rough times – and maybe he just had enough, or met someone else, or who knows what. It doesn’t really matter – he wants to end it.
As for what you do now – find a place to live. Get out before October 1. Get EVERYTHING that’s yours – every penny. You might also want to talk to a lawyer if you think he’s going to try to keep the stuff you paid for, including the dogs. I would go scorched earth on anyone who tried to keep my dog from me.
And take care of yourself. Be gentle and compassionate with yourself. You deserve better than this and someday you’re going to have it.
Post # 11
- Wedding: February 2015 - Chapel on Base
Nothing rocks a world more than a broken heart . I’m so sorry. I hope you find a sense of peace soon.
Personally I feel you will get back together. He is going to miss you giving up everything and doing everything for him. I think you are the better person in the relationship and that you can find someone with better qualities. You deserve better. You give your all. Keep trying so you can say you gave it your all.
As for the dogs… proud of you for being a good fur momma.
Post # 12
I have to be honest… I think that he may be seeing someone else and has been for some time. He is also a user. He has been using you for a long time, and planned to throw you away when he was finished. As soon as you were dependant on him, he was done. Honestly, you have put up with too much from this joker for too long.
Ask a friend or relative for a place to stay until you can get back on your feet. If all else fails find a battered women’s shelter and live there. Kicking you out with nothing is a pure form of abuse. Make sure that you take ALL of your items if you can and put them in storage or leave them at your friend’s until you get your own place. You can get through this. There is nothing to talk about with him. You are not yesterday’s trash, you are a human being and deserve to be treated as such. Please, ignore this man and begin planning online right now. Use this time to make your next move. I would also take this loser to court if he tries to hold onto your items. You cannot take those dogs with you, as you have no home. You may need to work that out with a friend, relative, or sadly give them away. You need to think about yourself right now. Take care of yourself, and I hope everything gets better for you! Hugs and prayers from me to you!
Post # 13
He used you, bought a house in an area that required you to quit your job, and basically extorted money and YOUR ring out of you by holding your dogs hostage. How can you believe that this guy loves you?
I get that it’s hard because you obviously love him, but seriously count your blessings and run.
Post # 14
Ugh! Sounds a lot like the end of my last relationship. Does he have a history of giving you the silent treatment? Do you feel like no matter what you do it isn’t enough?
Post # 15
I’ve witnessed more than a handful of men around age 30, recently snap- like a quarter-life crisis? It’s crazy and out of nowhere. The women were all blind-sided just like you, and most of the men gave similar “you’ve been mean to me for a long time” bullshit excuses. So please don’t blame yourself!! but also don’t stick around begging for him to come back, the boy is lost.