(Closed) Fiancé Lied, Sexted, & Sent Naked Pictures Help!

posted 4 years ago in Emotional
Post # 106
1472 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

Why do women stay with creeps like this? How is sexting and sending naked pictures and telling each other what they would do to each other not cheating?? You have got to be kidding me! OP, best thing you can do is leave him. Is this really the person you want to be the father of your kids???? Stop believing his false promises!! Ugh this really ticks me off 

Post # 107
1078 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

So I just read your update about Future Mother-In-Law. You say you would never know how Future Father-In-Law was but thats obviously not true. You don’t have to look any farther than their son. Apple didn’t fall far from the tree did it, OP? No wonder he turned out like this, his parents showed him that it’s ok to treat women like this because his mom stayed with his dad while he quite literally screwed her over (And over again). 

Wake the hell up OP. These people are brainwashing you into thinking cheating and manipulation are ok.

Post # 108
202 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

Please save yourself the pain of divorce and leave now. 

Post # 109
742 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

How did you see what he was sending on snapchat?

Post # 110
1866 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

Your Future Mother-In-Law is a fucking idiot. Why don’t you tell your parents what your Fiance does and see how they react? I’m sure as shit they’ll have a different answer to hers. 

Being totes soulmates isn’t why she stayed. She’s a doormat and she wants the same for you. Fuck that shit. 

Post # 111
302 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

Don’t leave if you don’t want to. But don’t think for one second your marriage will be anything other than your relationship so far: you, being played like a fiddle by him, while he does whatever. the. fuck. he. wants. 

Don’t want to live a life of continuously catching your husband cheating and having him erroneously threaten suicide/use other abusive tactics to get you to stay? Then you gotta go.

Seriously girl. Why would he change? He hasn’t had to yet. This is working for him. You staying says it works for you too.

Post # 112
656 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

So I haven’t read all the other posts yet, but the level of what he’s doing and the lying make him sound like he might have a sex addiction. Look it up online and see if you agree. If he does, it doesn’t erase everything he’s done, but it can give you an idea of where he’s coming from. People can get better from this, but they need to stop lying and enter and remain in treatment. 

Post # 113
5158 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2010

OMG. Are you kidding me? Soulmates my ass. His mother is a doormat who was too naive, scared and, quite frankly, stupid, to leave, so you should be too? I would have hoped even a first year psych student would know better than to accept someone else’s cognitive dissonance as justification for horrible behaviour. Why is she not talking to her son about his atrocious behaviour?

Remember what I said about not having kids with this guy? It is because your sons will learn from him, and your daughters will learn from you. Do you really want either of your future children to be like this or with someone who has no respect for them at all? Even if you accept it for yourself, I sure am hoping you would not want that for your own kids.

But, you know, enjoy your future with your disrespectful, manipulative, lying, cheating partner. Sounds super fun and fulfilling to be with someone who you can’t trust, always wondering who he is texting or emailing, where he is going, if he is telling you the truth, and whether that itch or rash is a sexually transmitted disease. I know this is harsh, but this is absolutely what you are signing up for if you stay, or follow his mother’s supposed “advice”. 

Post # 114
1455 posts
Bumble bee

He probably did change, for now, but what happens when you’ve been married for 10 years and he gets bored? Or if you gain weight from having kids? Or his hot younger coworker makes a pass at him?

Look, there are three kinds of people: those who never cheat, those who have had a lapse in judgement and feel natural guilt from it, and those who won’t think twice about cheating given the right circumstances. Since this is a repeat problem then he’s probs the third type. I mean, he was about to ask you to spend forever with him, your ring probably setting in a drawer right by him, aaaand he’s sending pictures of his dick to random girls. That’s not a guy I’d place my faith in just sayin

Post # 115
1158 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

Christ, when I read what you wrote it’s obvious that this is in his nature. He is never going to change. Please leave him for your own good!

Post # 116
656 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

Clove86:  I just read your post after saying essentially the same thing. That’s exactly what it sounds like to me. 

Post # 117
1729 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I’m sorry you’re going through this. I went through something somewhat similar with my ex. I loved him and thought we had a great relationship only to find out he was cheating on me (more than once, more than one other woman). I told him we were finished and he called me the next day to tell me he had been sitting on the edge of a cliff bawling – have no idea if it was true but it scared me and it made me think that he must truly be sorry if he was crying his eyes out… We stayed together.

Fast forward to the next time… I told him I was breaking up with him and no longer loved him after what he’d done to me. He was at home and I was on my way home. He had tied a knife around his wrist and was threatening to cut himself. I should have called the police or a suicide hotline but I called his brother, who calmed him down. And……we stayed together. If I’d been a member of the Bee then, I would have had everyone telling me what a bad decision it was. 

Fast forward to more than a year later, I suspected he was cheating again and this time I didn’t even need concrete proof, I was over it. I broke up with him, using the “It’s not you, it’s me” excuse – which dragged out over weeks, but it finally worked. Found out a few months later that yes, he had definitely been cheating on me and they’d just had a baby (conceived while we were together and supposedly a happy couple). 

Bee, there is a much happier future waiting for you if you move on. Not long after I washed my hands clean of my ex, I met my (now) husband, who is loyal, kind, caring, honest, and would never manipulate me. You deserve so much more. 

Post # 118
7642 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

anonymous22:  I’ll bet you anything that your Future Father-In-Law did not change and still cheats on your Future Mother-In-Law. What happened is he hid the cheating better, or Future Mother-In-Law learned to turn a blind eye to it. Either way, your Future Mother-In-Law is deluded.

Your Fiance will not change. You only have two options: tolerate it, or leave.

Post # 119
124 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

His mother is a woman with with no self-confidence who married into a terrible situation based on a fantasy in her head that never had a basis in reality. The father-in-law never stopped cheating and neither will your Fiance.

She looks happy? Yeah, so do you. Not a winning argument at this point.

Cut him loose and find a man who deserves you.

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