(Closed) Fiancé liking lingerie models online

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
1583 posts
Bumble bee

@Imean:  did he get spam bombed? I have friends who have had their pages hacked and the shoes and slutty girls show up on their page/newsfeed

Post # 5
Member
10714 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2012

Did you tell him it bothers you or ask him why?

Post # 6
Member
474 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

@Imean:  I’d be pretty hurt about this too. Ive never been in this situation, but I have learnt through other touchy subjects that it’s so important to approach your man while you’re calm. The second you get too emotional, men just shut off and think you’re overacting. Just express your worries and insecurities about this issue with your man in a calm way and I’m sure he might understand your point better.

Post # 7
Member
3885 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Well truth be told, lingerie models are meant to be attractive and beautiful, and it’s only natural that a young heterosexual male appreciates beauty in the female form.

That doesn’t mean he doesn’t find YOU beautiful; it just means that men don’t go blind to the rest of the female population once they get into a relationship. And men have been admiring beautiful women since the beginning of time. And women have been admiring beautiful men since the beginning of time. It’s just that the technology has advanced faster than humans have, and we don’t know how to deal with a the sensory input.

if I were you, I’d lay out some boundaries, but do it together, and compromise. For example, it’s okay to admire a woman by liking her photo on Facebook, but it’s not okay to contact her or friend her. Just an example, because every couple’s boundaries are different.  But you’ll have to acknowledge that he’s not blind, and shouldn’t be expected to behave as such, and work on not being insecure when you see that behavior. The reality is that those women are no more of a threat to you than a Victoria’s Secret catalog in the mail is. 

As for porn, again, set meaningful boundaries based on your comfort zone but acknowledging that he’s a human heterosexual male and that, for many men, “no porn allowed ever” is an unrealistic boundary.

Post # 8
Member
11747 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I think it’s creepy when guys do that. Look at them all you want, but no need to blast that you like it all over your fb page. 

Post # 9
Member
2269 posts
Buzzing bee

@MrsWBS:  I agree.

I would be ticked off. In my opinion, it’s rude and disrespectful to “like” things like that since. He’s basically saying, “She’s hott…oooh, I like her too…Yeah, she’s hot too…” I mean come on! Obviously our guys are gonna think other chicks are hott but broadcasting it all over Facebook is not cool. I would be embarrassed if my SO did that, not to mention pissed off.  

Post # 10
Member
2565 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I guess I am of a very different opinion, but I don’t see what the problem is.  Yes, liking the models on Facebook is strange, but looking at them is a gateway to a porn addiction?  To put this into perspective, I find Henry Cavill incredibly attractive and Fiance looks nothing like him.  Should I never be able to watch a movie with Henry Cavill?  I think men and women respond to things differently, my Fiance may want to watch a porn movie or look at nudey pics, but if I were to watch a movie with my favourite actor that had a (fake) sex scene I feel I enjoy that in the same way he enjoys porn.

Post # 11
Member
11747 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@bunnyharriet:  agreed. it just screams immature. I have no issue with anyone looking at them or watching porn, as long as there’s no direct contact with “real” humans do your thang. 

Post # 12
Member
2269 posts
Buzzing bee

@MrsWBS:  I would prefer if my SO didn’t look at porn, but he’s not like he is addicted or anything, so I don’t make a stink about it either. But, if he had the nerve to “Like” hot chicks on Facebook, he would def get an earful. That is completely disrespectful (in our relationship, anyway). SO knows better than to do that of course, but God help him if he ever did. It’d feel like a slap in the face to me. I mean why not just quietly admire these hott chicks? Why “Like” them so all your friends and family get to see it too? So douchey.

Post # 14
Member
367 posts
Helper bee

Personally I would not find this acceptable. I wouldn’t do this and neither would my partner. Every relationship is (obviously) different, so I’m not criticising anyone who thinks it’s fine. But if you’re not OK with it, then he should accept that and take it on board. There’s a difference IMO between appreciating that someone is attractive, and publicly ‘announcing’ that (which is what he is, in effect, doing by ‘liking’ on FB).

Post # 15
Member
4654 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

@bunnyharriet:  that’s exactly why i would be upset too. not so much that he likes them, but because he publicly is saying that he finds them hot for all friends and family to see!

Post # 16
Member
2226 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

@fishbone:  @pixiecat: @MsSunshineBee:   I completely agree. I don’t understand what all the fuss is about. DH’s phone is full of underwear models; I don’t care cause at the end of the day he loves what he’s got even more because it’s real! Sounds like there are a lot of divergant opinions on here though…

 

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